To the Guy Who Mugged Me......

[Roscoe]

Jonco January 26th, 2009

Posted to Craig’s List Personals:
To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I’d like to apologize.

I didn’t expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening and it wasn’t that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?

It’s a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn’t it? I know it probably wasn’t a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with that brown stinking sludge flopping about in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone and wallet with me. I couldn’t have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They’ll be on your bill in case you’d like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I’ve only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don’t know what’s going on with that. I hope they haven’t permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA’s office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I’d like to make it up to you. I’m sure you’ve already washed your pants, so I’d like to help you out. I’d like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use and was it liquid or powder? I’d also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I’m hoping that you’ll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we’ll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex

[427 S/O]

Excellent!!, 'parts' of Savannah are 'very' dangerious after dark.

[trularin]

Name a city that isn't.

Excellent post.

[Fordzilla]

Great Post!!

[Fred Douglass]

One of your GREATEST (and that's sayin' sump'in)!!!!!!!!!

[Bobcat]

Love it !!
Last week , we had a scumbag take a convenience clerk hostage . When the police showed up , he shot one of the deputies twice , shoulder and hip. The deputy fired once , center of mass , and no more bad guy ! Paper said he died from massive trauma to the heart and arteries . The deputy was a new guy with the Department , but had just retired from the SC Highway Patrol . Talk about cool under pressure ... hit twice and kills the scumbag with one shot ..... WAY TO GO !! Sheriff said the Deputy will make a full recovery ... and supports him 100 % !

[Goopie 18]

Another reason why I always carry. Good thing you didn't have to shoot him, he would have sued you.

[Fred Douglass]

.....it's "one shot in the hair and one shot in the air". When the police arrived, you can alluz say the FIRST gun report was your "warning" shot in the air and the second was "necessary" after your assailant refused to depart........only the dead assailant and his "hair-dresser" know fer shur.....

Ar-ar-ar-ar!

[wtm442]