A woman goes into Cabela’s …

[Roscoe]

 woman goes into Cabela’s …


A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A Cabela’s associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He says, “Ma’am, I’m completely blind; but if you’ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn’t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, “That’s a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It’s a good all around combination; and it’s on sale this week for only $20.00.”

She says, “It’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I’ll take it!”

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

“Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is
no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, “That’ll be $34.50 please.”

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn’t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00?
How did you get $34.50?”

He replies,” Yes, Ma’am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

[427 S/O]

Man! I gotta share that ..........

[Fred Douglass]

.......could tell any type of wood just by smelling it.

The guys at the back of the shed used to amaze customers with Bill's ability. One day, a customer was very doubtful about this, so they started a demonstration. They put a cedar plank down and Bill said: "That's easy. That's cedah!"

Next, yellow pine. Ditto. Then redwood. Ditto. Walnut. Same. Finally, as a joke, they grabbed young Shirley out of Shipping and had her lie down on the table, face down. Bill hovered close above the back her skirt just a moment then reared back upright, saying: "Flip it ovah!" They did so and he went back to work. He sniffed the front of her skirt and then looked up: "Y'almost had me theah. Got it though: that's the sh*thouse door off'n a tuna-boat!"

[Roscoe]

"A blind Chamori man came to the Village in
Hagåtña for lunch. He stopped at the first booth
and told the shop owner, "My name is Mori and
I am Chamori. I am blind so I cannot read your special
food menu. Please dip a spoon in your special sauce
and let me taste it." The shop owner went back to the
kitchen and dipped a spoon into the special dish pot.
Came back and allowed the man to taste it. The blind
man proudly thanked him and said, "Yum! Yum! Yum!
That's good. I love Chop Steak so I will order one."
The owner politely complied. A week went by and the same blind
Chamori returned. Again he stated, "Håfa Adai!
I am Mori the Chamori and I want to order your special.
But first I must taste the food." Once more,
the owner went to the kitchen and dipped a spoon into the
special dish pot. He came back and offered it to the man.
Mori the Chamori said, "Ai na minannge'! I will order
one Tinaktak." The owner was intriqued but complied.
The following week, the blind man returned. Again he told of his
condition and again asked to taste the food special. The owner
was amazed at how he identified his special cooking so
he wanted to test the man. He went back to the kitchen
where he told his wife Maria to rub the spoon between
her legs. He came back with the spoon and gave it to the man.
Mori the Chamori took the spoon and licked it, not once but
several times. Then he proudly proclaimed, "Paire! Månnge'
Magåhet! Paire! Uuuummm! So Maria works here, huh?"