"Dinner with Obama"

[Gordon Claunch]

"Dinner with Obama"


Once upon a time, I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces memory chips for computers and portable electronics. There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a free country. There's nothing that the government can do to me if I've broken no laws. My wealth was earned honestly, and an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.



I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the President in a yellow dining room. We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff served our dinner. The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner rol l off my plate, and began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen.


"Sorry about that," said the President. "Andrew is very hungry."


"I don't appreciate..." I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty.. It was just a dinner roll. "Of course," I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp.


"And his brother Eric is very thirsty." said the President.


I didn't say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought. I will play along. I don't want to seem unkind. My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite.


"Eric's children are also quite hungry."


With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from under me. I stood,brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was carried from the room.


"And their grandmother can't stand for long."



I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool. Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the President.


"Their grandfather doesn't like the cold."


I wanted to shout - that was my coat! But again, I looked at the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled. Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table. I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home.


Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in. The President hadn't moved or spoken as I learned all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.



"Andrew's whole family ha s made bad financial decisions. They haven't planned for retirement, and they need a house. They recently defaulted on a subprime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They need it more than you do."


My hands were shaking. I felt faint. I stumbled back to the table and knelt on the floor. The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak and drank his wine.


I lowered my eyes and stared at the small gray circles on the tablecloth that were water drops.


"By the way," He added, "I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing your factories. I'm firing you as head of your business. I'll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind. There's a whole bunch of Erics and Andrews out there and they can't come to you for jobs groveling like beggars."


I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which had been his creme brulee. He drained the last drops of his wine.


As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if it were a ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle. Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with some surprise that there was no game board between us. What had I done wrong?


As if answering the unspoken thought, the President suddenly cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands.




"You should have stopped me at the dinner roll," he said.


Wake up, America!

[Bill Bess]

Kind of how things are going these days, only the dinner would be fried chicken, not steak.
Bill

[FWB]

since they left the utensils on the table, be a patriot!

[The Dreamer]

Bill Bess posted

...only the dinner would be fried chicken, not steak.

Hmmmm, why would the dinner be fried chicken?

[FWB]

?, you serious.....

[Buzz]

Me too. Come on - tell us why the dinner would be fried chicken Bill.

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by The Dreamer

Bill Bess posted


Hmmmm, why would the dinner be fried chicken?

Because it goes better with collard greens ??

[Bill Bess]

I just thought a formal dinner with this president might be a "cultural event" seeing how everything else is cultural these days.
You know, if you eat in San Francisco..it might be crabs and sour dough bread, LA it might be mexican food, in the east coast it might be a philly cheese hoagie...you get the idea.
I think its still a free country and one can still express his or her opinions. I think some are a bit "touchy" these days.
Bill

[Buzz]

Don't be so touchy yourself. In the other thread a lil' while back you went on about "fried bird and watermelon". Here you're on about fried chicken again. I'm a hobby chef - I love food and maybe I was just hoping you had some interesting recipes to share. Feel free to throw in some creative ingredients - twinkies, Dr. Pepper, HoHo's, etc. Hell, I'm gettin' hungry just thinking about it.

Ps - what are "ho ho's" anyway? I always kinda picture them as a sort of dark coloured jelly candy thing shaped to look like a plump black chick

[Buzz]

Never mind! Curiosity got the better of me. Found 'em!


What's with the Hostess products (HoHo's and Twinkies) and the black stereotype thing? The "Ho" part is obvious but what about the Twinkies? And fried chicken, Dr. Pepper, watermelon, collard greens (?!), etc... Do black folks in the US really eat those things more than other groups?

I know you were jes' havin a bit of good ol' boy fun with the Obama thing and not looking to get into a discussion about prejudices and stereo types (JVC, Bose, Panasonic, etc.), but I am genuinely curious...

[Gordon Claunch]

Buzz, I used to work for Hostess Cake, At The stops I had in the Black Community, the big seller was Chocodiles by far, that is a Chocolate covered Twinkies, the company really pushed those and they really moved, but not so much at other stops.

[Sharroll Celby]

Dont forget menthol cigarettes.

[Buzz]

LMAO!! Menthol cigarettes?? Never heard that one before! And Chocodiles - that's a new one on me too. Hang on a sec while I go check in the mirror!

[VRM]

I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but I have to admit - chocodiles are fantastic!
And fried chicken (lets stick with the stereotypes 'cause they are always accurate) is for Southern folks - Chicago has deep dish pizza.

And most of us east coast New Englanders don't have a clue what a 'hoagie' is (I've worked in Philly and learned the embarrassing way). They are sub sandwiches.

And people from AZ always eat rattlesnakes, right?



Steve

[Jamo]

Originally Posted by Buzz

LMAO!! Menthol cigarettes?? Never heard that one before! And Chocodiles - that's a new one on me too. Hang on a sec while I go check in the mirror!

No sh!t...you can play basketball, can't you?

[Buzz]

Actually I play tennis . Never did learn to play basketball. My mother used to play netball when I was a lil' fella and I suppose maybe I kinda grew up seeing tossing a ball through a hoop as a girl thing - yup - that's gotta be it. Nothing at all to do with the fact that I ain't tall enough to be really good at it

Not sure what "soul food" is and even when I used to smoke, I flat couldn't stand menthol. I like guns and boats and cars and jacked up 4X4's. Fried chicken is good, arsepecially if it's "oven fried" with a herb and panko crust, but I don't like watermelon.

I am more of a booty guy than a titty guy, though, but while I can dance well enough to get by I ain't no Michael Jackson. Growing up down here, if you can't dance at all, your chances of gettin' laid are slim to nil unless maybe your parents are loaded. Even the white kids here shake it up pretty good. It's called motivation. Powerful stuff. Hell, I'd even choke down a helping of collard greens for a nice piece of a$$

[Ron61]

Buzz,

Contact Fred, (392 Cobra) and I am sure he can arrange a night or so with Frenchy for you. And no dancing would be required. Maybe some running though.

Ron

[Buzz]

Lol! Thanks Ron, but I do believe I'll pass. I have a former girlfriend who lives in Dallas now and I can still shake a leg on the dance floor when the need arises.
Besides, after he cons me into eating the collard greens, old Fred will probably end up keeping the HoHo for himself anyway.

[Bill Bess]

Hey Buzz, it's nice to see that you really like cultural foods of the world and can appreciate those that eat them. Most of my life I spent in the LA area of California and so I relate to many different types of cultural food and the folks that desire them. All you have to do is drive around a large metropolitan city and see the signs that point out the speciality restaurants and markets. It's a wonderful world we live in and eating is so much fun....even if it's rattle snakes, Roadrunners (walking birds that look like chickens), Havalenas (wild pigs) and other common animals that are found in the AZ
desert.

Actually, I don't eat any of these things......but some may. I personnally love apple fritters and everything that's good...including fried chicken.

Bill

[Buzz]

Originally Posted by Bill Bess

Hey Buzz, it's nice to see that you really like cultural foods of the world and can appreciate those that eat them. Most of my life I spent in the LA area of California and so I relate to many different types of cultural food and the folks that desire them. All you have to do is drive around a large metropolitan city and see the signs that point out the speciality restaurants and markets. It's a wonderful world we live in and eating is so much fun....even if it's rattle snakes, Roadrunners (walking birds that look like chickens), Havalenas (wild pigs) and other common animals that are found in the AZ
desert.

Actually, I don't eat any of these things......but some may. I personnally love apple fritters and everything that's good...including fried chicken.

Bill

I once had a black '74 Trans Am (firechicken) that ate roadrunners and javelins (havalenas?) for breakfast on a regular basis. It chewed up torino cobras and mustang cobras once in a while too, but never tried rattlesnake.