The POOL ROOM

[petrolhead]

Originally Posted by letsboogie351

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach.

He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, from England, Wales and Scotland were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.





The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.





The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'ave ya ever been f****d laddie?"

The man broke into a big smile and said, "No".

She said, "Aye, well ya will be when the tide comes in."

If his name is "BOB" he should be fine

[Rog246]

I had a dog like that once.........no legs at all.
He lived under a tree in our garden............so we called in Rustle

[Rog246]

The Jewish ELBOW

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........

"What . . . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"


Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

[Aussie Mike]

Originally Posted by Rog246

I had a dog like that once.........no legs at all.
He lived under a tree in our garden............so we called in Rustle

We had a dog like that too. We called him Cigarette cause every night I'd take him out for a drag.