Jokes

[bliss]

Why is sex is like software?
For every one who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
_____

If slim and fat are opposites...

Then how come “slim chance” and “fat chance” are similar?
_____

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry,
at Harvard University.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person _over 58 years of age_ cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fool cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down.

[Ron61]

Three football teams (Arsnel, Liverpool, and Hartsfield) are flying from England across Egypt for a match in the Middle East. Their plane crashes in the desert and they survive. After days of wandering, they are really hungry so when they come across a camel, the footballers decide to kill it and eat it. The Liverpool team says, "Because we play for Liverpool, will we eat the liver." The Hartsfield players decide, "Because we play for Hartsfield, we will eat the heart." Arsnel says, "I think we might go hungry..."

[Ron61]

Ron