Upcoming New Apple Products
1. The iSuck, a robotic web-enabled robotic vacuuum cleaner with the ability to accept verbal commands. This thing will make a Dyson look like 19th Century technology and within a year Apple will be the #1 supplier of vacuum cleaners to the world.
2. The iScream, a web-enabled, voice activated home ice cream maker. Tell Siri what flavor you want and it appears within 30 seconds giveing you the best ice cream ever made. Apple's advertising slogan will be "iScream, you scream, we all scream for iScream".
3. The iFlush - Web enabled, voice activated toilet and communication device. You can drop a deuce and be part of a web conference at the same time. Naturally, each iFlush will have its own iPeeaddress.
4. The iFetch - A robotic dog with all the advantages of a bio-dog and none of the disadvantages. iFetch will, at a verbal command or on its own, fetch the paper, fetch your slippers, play fetch, go absolutely bonkers with joy when you come home, lick you face (but not its balls), chase away Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons. iFetch will not take a dump or a pee on the rug, shred your furniture or need a bath or grooming.
5. The iMaxiPad - The most versatile iPad of all. Not only is it a tablet computer, but it is also extremely absorbent and can be used in those situations requiring the utmost in absorbency.
