I use eBay a lot. I hate the feedback deal too.
I used to send postal money orders, but learned my lesson. They take too long to prove they were received and cashed, plus it costs extra to trace. Years ago I sent payment TWICE for an auction and still got nothing, because I responded to threats about getting a negative.
People have very little recourse if someone abandons their eBay account and creates a new one. There used to be a thirty day time limit on complaining about non-performing eBay sellers... about the time it took you to know you were screwed after being strung along with e-mails.
I've had less trouble after I switched to Paypal, backed by a savings account that I only keep $100 in and feed when a larger purchase requires it. You can prove payment was sent. I haven't sold anything on eBay for a long time. When I used to sell more stuff, I never kept more than $100 as a Paypal balance.
TRULARIN
I think a buyer of an eBay item should post feedback first. That way the seller knows the item was received and the buyer is happy before posting feedback. If someone sends me an e-mail before the transaction is complete or soon after, requesting feedback, you can guarantee they queered that opportunity from me. These days, as long as I finally get my item, or a refund, I don't post a negative, or a neutral. It is a given that if you do, you are retaliated upon, even if the other party is completely in the wrong.
FSSTNOTCH
A refund after 11 months and a positive feedback is so wrong, on so many levels. I would think you could go after Paypal for an unauthorized withdrawal on a bank account, which Paypal in effect is. Didn't eBay buy Paypal? If I'm right, what a sweet way to make money from both ends.
Your eBay auction buyer wanted someone else to be responsible for his stupidity. It is the same logic that my ignorant neighbor used to take a large temporary outdoor pool back to Walmart and get his money back. He had filled it with high iron content water and over-shocked it with chemicals, turning the water blood red and staining the pool.... TWICE. Obviously the pool was defective.
I think eBay overall is pretty cool. It is like a National/International combination Auction and Garage sale. I find lots of cool stuff that is not available in my area, plus lots of great bargains! I have had many more positive experiences on eBay than negative ones.
Fast Farmer