ACC hires David Shelton as consultant

[ToyCollector]

(Reuters) February 5, 2005

ATLANTA, GA-- The Atlanta Club Cobra, currently a loosely organized bunch of testerone crazed middle aged hooligans, has announced that it has hired advisor David Shelton from Texas to organize the club. David's past experience in election processes and leveraged financial transactions will take the club into the next decade. Says one ACC member, "David is the perfect guy for this role, we have big goals of growing the club. We foresee opportunities given David's past to infiltrate and acquire other neighboring regional clubs. We feel the Texas market may be a good place to grow into and David is the man. Plus we need to spread some of our humor to other parts of the country." Another member also expressed agreement, "As we look to grow, we need to cater to a more diverse audience and we feel attracting a female membership base is a great way to grow. Plus having some babes around at events never hurts the eyes. David's good looks should cater and attract that demographic as well."

Industry analysts however are taking a wait and see approach to this announcement given recent controversy when David was nominated for the Texas Cobra Club elections where he was winning in a landslide via a national poll. The election was terminated early as some parties felt that non-documented Texas residents and outsiders were allowed to vote. The ACLU and the Democratic Party however are threatening to sue the TCC, as they feel anyone with a pulse should be able to vote, and vote often. Actually, they even encourage dead people to vote. One analyst is quoted also as saying, "Given ACC's free membership, we are not sure they can grow revenue just on volume alone. However, I am still analyzing the numbers and think they may have discovered some new mathematics."