OEM .vs. Aftermarket (Universe .vs. Me) - now I remember …

[Davekmd]

It’s been nearly 40 years since I’ve worked on an American V8. I’m older, wiser, and way more wily than when I ”wore a younger man’s clothes” (Billy Joel). For those who might not recognize my Username, I recently purchased a 2003 SVC. While it looked very nice, it turns out there were some issues with the car that need to be resolved. Ergo I had several potential car tasks lined up for this past weekend; pull the T5 tranny and check out the clutch situation or install new high zoot valve covers. (Truth in lending… there was nothing wrong with the valve covers on the car nor were they leaking. I just got new aftermarket Cobra Powered by Ford ones …umm… because…)

I’ve pulled a few trannies and you know - it just isn’t a lot of fun. Valve covers? Well heck, instant visual appeal, ease of task, and increased visual HP are the obvious benefits. For the latter I’m sure you’d agree nice looking valve covers add HP, at least when you join the liars club at any venue where the motor is exposed to admiring onlookers It was a tough choice between pulling the T5 or changing valve covers. Do something I just wasn’t much looking forward to (but needed to do) or take the easy way out and do something I’d MUCH rather do? Most of my adult life has been taking the hard road, doing what needed to be done, putting off what I really WANT to do... But now I’m 18 with 43 years of experience, so valve covers it was!

The old Ford Motorsports valve covers came off without incident. Seriously I think they were off in 5 minutes. Further, I did not drop a single allen head hex fastener or washer in the process. And as an added bonus, I looked at the underside of the valve covers and they were absolutely spotless, as clean as the day they were installed over 12 years ago. My, my; the sun, moon, and planets were surely smiling on me. Heck I even had a container to put said fasteners into. Talk about a pro shade tree mechanic. Dad would be proud.

Next would be removing the old baked on valve cover gaskets from the cast iron heads. To my utter disbelief the gaskets peeled off the heads like the ring band on a good cigar. No tears, no muss, no fuss, no bother. Geez, if I kept on going like this a new discovery would surely be made, maybe a new planet or anti-matter or an important medical cure would soon be announced. Yes, the universe and I were getting along quite nicely on Saturday …

Dare I tempt fate? Sure why not? I inspected the old valve cover gaskets and they looked in remarkably excellent condition. Now we all know old gaskets should not normally be re-used, but the Lithuanian in me won out. I installed them over the wooden dowels I had fashioned and declared absolute victory. Next I carefully grabbed one of the new valve covers and gently set it into place. Then I stepped back to admire the engine bay. Yep. Well played young man, well played… The valve covers looked great, a nostalgic look, yet modern and dare I say; manly? (Say where IS my Hai Karate cologne?)

So I set about putting the new ARP fasteners in place. I’d re-use the old valve cover gaskets but for visual impact but nothing says sh^t kicking, take no prisoners, fire breathing 302 CID monster motor, like new valve cover fasteners. (after all you can’t SEE a re-used gasket, you can only deal with the leaks afterwards….). But something wasn’t quite right, the valve cover didn’t seem to be sitting flat… part of the gasket was tucked under the valve cover, part was extending out. I tried gently tucking the gasket under the cover, but no luck. OK, so I couldn’t re-use the old gaskets, they were a bit compressed and deformed. No problem, I had ordered brand new, high $, rubber and metal aftermarket gaskets when I purchased the valve covers. So I’m not behind by any stretch of the imagination. The gears of the universe were still meshing nicely and I was at the helm of my very own starship.
I turned the new valve covers upside down and noticed they had a lip on them. The old Ford Motorsports were smooth, flat, with no lip. Hmmm… I also noticed notches cut out on the new covers… I grabbed a new gasket and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Well the valve covers had 6 notches. The new gaskets had 6 tangs, but 2 of the 6 did not mate up – by any stretch of the imagination. Craperino. I’d have to cut two tangs off of the new valve cover gaskets. That’s when the little voice of experience and wiliness prevailed - measure other aspects of fitment before you cut… I ‘measured’ and found the new gasket didn’t quite match the overall profile of the valve cover. I could hardly squeeze it into place and since there’s a metal core I couldn’t easily deform it either...

I couldn’t stand the thought of cutting the tangs off brand new, high $ aftermarket gaskets and then trimming the end profiles to fit the valve covers. I really didn’t want to force fit the gasket either. A lifetime of working with <expletive deleted> managers, salespeople, and executives has taught me much. They bring up catchy euphemisms so you’ll solve the problems they can’t (but take credit for). You know, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. There aren’t any problems – just opportunities. Winners never quit. Etc. etc. etc.

So I decided to trek to the local parts store not 15 minutes from the house. And besides I could pick up a new air filter element too. The nice lady at the parts place was kind enough to locate two valve cover gaskets they had in stock; another pricy aftermarket rubber and metal gasket and an inexpensive OEM cork Felpro gasket. The other aftermarket gasket suffered the same fate. It ALMOST fit and I figured why buy another gasket that needs to be trimmed when you already HAVE one that needs to be trimmed? The OEM Felpro was a low dollar cork gasket and naturally fit well enough that it could readily be coaxed into place.

Then I set about trying to find an air filter element. I have an aftermarket air filter housing and so I couldn’t order by make, model, year. After about a ½ hour of sorting through a few hundred filters I found one with the correct diameter but slightly taller than what was in the car. Could ¾” of inch really make a difference? No not today!

I returned home and plopped the cork Felpros into place, put the valve covers over them, and installed the new ARP fasteners finger tight. Hmmm… the bolts were 12 pt heads…. I looked in my SAE tool box and naturally while I have 12 point sockets, I just don’t have anything that small. Craperino. My nut drivers are all 6 pt and they wouldn’t work. I tried metric on the off chance something would work, but nothing did. So the valve covers sit on the heads untorqued. Darn. That’s Universe - 1, me - zero. Was I going to be shot down in flames?

It was getting late in the afternoon and so I thought, might as well at least put the new air filter element into place. Technically that was cheating because replacing an air filter element doesn’t really constitute a true car “fix”, but hey ya gotta do what ya gotta do. I reasoned accomplishing 1 outta 2 car fixes ain’t bad. And besides I had successfully attended to my CRV’s rear brakes earlier in the day so TECHNICALLY it would be 2 outta 3 car tasks after I “installed” the new air filter element. So I popped the new air filter in place and re-installed the cover. The old carb bolt wasn’t long enough but I figured as much since the new filter was taller. I gently lowered the hood of the car and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Yep, the hood wouldn’t close. ¾” of an inch was a ½” too much. So now it was Universe - 2, me - zero.

Then it was all coming back to me. As a teen I had a 1967 Cougar with 289 motor. I put aftermarket parts on it and they didn’t fit either. Not the Hooker headers, not the Cherry Bomb mufflers, not the jacked up rear springs, nuthin. Nothing aftermarket fit without banging, hacking, filing, or otherwise tweaking it. Duct tape, hose clamps, and clothes hanger wire were part of everyone’s tool kit. That JC Whitney catalog, with the flimsy news print paper, in black and white with SPARKLES ON EVERYTHING ads, flat out lied. Yep, in many respects it’s nice to see that not much has changed these past 40 years. It’s like homecoming or finding your old baseball glove that feels perfect after all these years. There’s a comfort in stability of OEM .vs. aftermarket and alignment of the planets. OEM is boring and mundane, it’s what everyone has and the stuff fits. But aftermarket, man it has the sizzle and sizzle sells. Parts don’t generally fit, but man the stuff looks good! Trust me, I gazed that all those sparkle ads in that JC Whitney catalog for hours on end, mesmerized, and eager to take another for the team.

So rather than curse the darkness, I called it quits for the day. I took the air filter off, put a shop towel over the carb, closed the hood and turned the garage lights off. I retired to the back patio to talk with my better half, have a glass of scotch, smoke a cigar, and ponder how wonderful life really was…. A lovely wife of 38 years, three great adult children, three fantastic grandkids, and to top it all off, there was a cobra in my garage.

[DanEC]

Based on your luck so far you may want to hold off starting on that clutch job for awhile. But keep the faith - the internet and forums are a great tool we didn't have 40 years ago - so we usually had to beat parts into submission and paint them to match just because we couldn't ask for parts advice from a wide audience or compare parts and manufacturer's data as easliy as we now can. But, it sounds like you are enjoying the experience so keep it up.

[g8rnbft]

LOL! Great beginnings.

[mdross1]

Agree with Dan years ago it was much more difficult to build a car they way we could today. Back then we did not know the difference and did the best we could with what we had. These days having the computer and so many after market companies it is a true pleasure wrenching not to mention all the people (experts) I have talked to.
The deeper you get into a project the more consuming it becomes have fun.
Mike Ross

[Luce]

Why do you guys have to go and bust my bubble reminding me of today's internet resources. I thought I was just older and wiser.

[RallySnake]

Dave,

I am glad you wrote that great article! I have been very disappointed with many aftermarket parts, too. The biggest gripe that I have is even when they do fit, they fail at the worst possible time in the worst possible place.

Forget those bright shining fuel filters, just give me the biggest stock one I can fit into the car. I have so little faith in aftermarket fuel pumps, I run 2. So, that when one quits, I can switch to the other one. And don't get me started on gear drives for cams, GRRRRRR.

RS

[lnfletcher]

That was fun!

[Tommy]

Dave,
I'm glad you shared your experience. You are not alone.

Back in 2001, just as I was transitioning from dial-up Internet to cable, I was replacing the old incorrect small block engine in my 1963 Corvette with a new incorrect small block engine. The volume of online help back then was not as good, so I didn't realize the new engine had a different head design that changed the exhaust ports and raised the intake a fraction of an inch. That one difference snowballed into a dozen changes that each affected other parts. It seems that you can rarely modify one part on an old car without it taking three times as long and costing twice as much as expected. I've come to expect it now.