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Kirkham Motorsports

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-22-2004, 02:20 PM
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Default 1/2 Time Score: Quick Jacks 3, Right Eye Brow 0

Okay, I'll admit that a fly on the garage wall would have laughed his azz off at this true event. So go ahead and loudly and rudely if you must.

Cobra was on jack stands for some general servicing and to check out the source of a really small water leak. I have my kids' go-cart straddled (perpindicular) in front of the Cobra, so a little wiggle room was there (but as you will soon learn, not enough).

I move into position with wrench, rag and flashlight in hand, only to have the back of my head hit the rear tire of the go-cart. This had the effect of a FRICKEN TRAMPOLINE and catapulted my face right into one of the quick jacks! Bam...BANG!!! After the stars and little birdies disappeared, I removed my hand from my right eye brow and spotted the blood. Damn! I'm still a little woosie so I summons the nurse (wife).

She looks at it and says "You'll need stitches."

I fire back "No way! I'll just shove some super glue in there and it'll be okay."

I find my way to the bathroom and take a look for myself. Spreading the wound apart, I sigh and say to myself "Yup, Deano, you're going to need stitches for this one, you bonehead! Why didn't you just move the go-cart?!?!?"

So 2.5 hours later, we're pulling up to the house with 3 stitches in my eyebrow. The good news is that my Grouco Marks behemoths hide the wound so good that you can't even tell they are there!

I then proceeded to grab my wrench, rag and flashflight, MOVE THE GO-CART, and climb under the Cobra. My wife looks at me in utter amazement and yells "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?"

"Finishing the job I started, dear, just finishing the job". Within 30 minutes, I had completed my tasks, dropped her back down, fired her up, checked her all out top and bottom, and then proceeded to go for a nice Sunday drive in the countryside.
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Old 03-22-2004, 02:39 PM
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BAN QUICK JACKS before they kill again!

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Old 03-23-2004, 05:29 AM
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Red,

You're not the first to lose the battle with quick jacks, and you darn sure won't be the last! Most of us just beat the heck out of our shins however, so you may have started a new category.
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Old 03-23-2004, 06:55 AM
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Oye RedBarchetta,

Quote:
effect of a FRICKEN TRAMPOLINE
LOL! I love it!

With your permission I'll adopt "trampoline effect" as a new addition to my (limited) language skills

Been there - and that's the most descriptive term I've seen for it. It's not the initial whack that seems to inflict the most damage, it's the trampoline effect

Thanks for the big chuckle, and I hope you heal rapidly & painlessly,

Tom
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Old 03-23-2004, 07:04 AM
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Trampoline effect! Excellent! Like when the coil bites you and your head flys into the hood!

Ernie
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:17 AM
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I don't count it as a successful day unless I heve a few dings somewhere on my body. Knuckles look like hamburger most of the time !!!
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Old 03-23-2004, 10:20 AM
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Tom has earned an unlimited usage license for the trademark "trampoline effect".

For everyone else, it will cost you a beer. :lol:
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Old 03-23-2004, 11:34 PM
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Default trade dress issue?(I ain`t buyin` no beer!)

I have a similar "trampette syndrome" story.

Whilst replacing a driveshaft gaiter on a FWD Mazda last week, I released the shaft nut with a 3ft long bar, then started to remove it with the ratchet. it went one full turn, then stopped. in my kneeling position, I applied some downward force. nothing. Straightened my elbows, applied a similar amount of force....no resistance whatsoever! My head came down on the wing(fender?) so hard it broke my glasses in half & left me with a bump the size of half an egg that has now faded to the kind of yellow that normally suggests jaundice! The insult bit to this injury was that as my head bounced up, the socket came off the nut, and gravity brought my head back down to the same point it had so recently made contact with. Oh, by the way, it was hailing, I was in the street,soaked through, freezing cold but at least no-one saw me! My buddies in work are still calling me 'Elephant Man' though!
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Last edited by nikbj68; 03-23-2004 at 11:38 PM..
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Old 03-24-2004, 12:22 AM
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Would take them off my car as they cause me no end of shin damage.



However they have saved the front of the car once.



Hell they open those plastic bumpers on Japanese cars.

Decision made they stay.

Cheers

Bernie
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Old 03-24-2004, 01:50 PM
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I was under the rear end of a JBL in the pits at Willow Springs years ago, some guy was asking a bunch of questions, I was going to crawl out from under the car to try and answer them, slid out from under the car and while doing a sit-up on the asphalt, all forward motion of my torso was stopped when "PING" my left front tooth hit the quickjack. Immediately put hand to my mouth to see how much blood would be pouring out from what had to be a knocked out tooth. None. It hurt like heck,but didn't get chipped, broken or knocked out. I thought it had to be cracked,so I kept sneaking a peek in mirrors the rest of the day to check if it was still there. I don't think I got to answer any the guy's questions, he split when the profanity started.
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