David doesn’t know much about cows.

[David Kirkham]

Gentlemen:

Today is a beautiful day. Nice warm weather and we were all working outside…when a neighbor rode up on his bike—we all held our breath. We are pretty careful with the neighbors as we play with some very “nice” (loud) sounding vehicles—as do our employees. Ducati, slammed Focus, Kirkhams running around…you get the picture. Our shop is in a rural area of Provo which is now being developed and we can’t get away with nearly what we could in the past and we don’t want to irritate the neighbors. Farms are mixed in with new housing developments in our area now so we have a very wide cross-section of society here by us.

Anyway, the neighbor arrived just as I was pulling a new car off of the Polish shipping rack with a forklift. He was wearing knee-high boots for irrigation—or worse—and had obviously had a long, hard life as a farmer as evidenced by his deep sunburn, weathered arms, and tough-as-nails face. (Sunburned in April, mind you, in a state where it snows into May!)

He began asking questions about our cars as he said he had seen them driving by over the years. I told him all about our company in Poland and showed him around the shop. He was actually quite friendly and seemed genuinely interested in what we were doing.

The conversation turned to him and what he did—as I was doing my best to be a friendly neighbor. He told me he was a farmer and where he lived. I asked him what he raised and he told me “dairy cows and hay to feed em.” He told me about farming and how he hoped the milk prices would go up this year. He told me about “fresh” cows, (cows that just had their first calf) and “ornery” cows that don’t want to be milked any longer so they turn them into hamburger—me asking dumb questions all the time, mind you.) He told me that lately they have been taking the ovaries out of cows to make their meat taste better. I asked him if you could still milk a cow if the ovaries were removed and he sort of laughed and said if a cow doesn’t have a calf it won’t produce milk and they can’t have a calf if they don’t have ovaries. (I guess humans are the same way, but never thought about with cows.) Dumb me.

Thomas then fired up Jorgen Moller’s car with Southern Automotive’s big 500 CID stroker and the earth began shaking like a Los Angeles earthquake.

A big smile came across his face and he yelled, “I was hoping you’d do that…You know, you sure don’t know much about cows…but I do admire your horsepower!” He then got back on his bike with a big smile, waved and rode off.

David

[Guinness]

There's something about a thundering FE that makes you want listen to it all day long.

Jeff

P.S. I don't know much about cows either.

[tcolley1]

David,

Sounds like a really nice place to live!

When I fire up my 302 small block street legal Spec Racer here in Houston I have to keep an eye out to see if any of "my neighbors" called the police.

Ah... the advantages of living in the city! NOT!!

Terry

[Excaliber]

,,,,used to live in Hawaii Kai, had to many problems with the neighbors and the "loud" car, etc.

Moved, checked out the nieghborhoods where the Cobra would be most likely to be accepted. They love the car here!

No room for a cow, but I do have a banana tree!

[Steve R]

David,
All I know about cows is that you don't want to hit one with your Cobra.
Steve

[Jamo]

Cows? Somebody say cows?

We represent Land o' Lakes...

[Fast Farmer]

I know beef cows. I have a few head in a cow/calf operation. Here a few things I've learned about cows over the years.

1. Cows can only kick straight backwards, not sideways.
2. When outside sorting cattle on windy days, stay aware of wind direction and your relative position to a cow lifting her tail to expel processed feed or water.
3. Mothers are very protective of their calves and take great delight in pushing them under fences to hide them.
4. Calves are not always smart enough to return inside the fence when called by their mothers. On the flip side, cows often forget where they have hidden their calves.
5. Agitated cattle will take a small crack of daylight seen from inside a barn, and turn it into a rather large escape hole. I have a full sheet of plywood covering the side of the barn where a window once existed
6. You can bluff a cow escape attempt indoors or outside in the open by waving your arms, holloring, or as a last resort, with a well aimed kick to the nose. With experience, you recognize when the freight train is comin' and it is prudent to get the he!! out of Dodge!
7. Cows will "jump" fences. They get a good run up, launch their front legs over and crash down the fence, dragging their rear legs over.
8. Gender of cattle is NOT determined by whether they have horns or not. It is desireable to have a breed without horns at all.
9. Pulling a calf to assist a birth gets messy. So do emergency C-sections at midnight in the barn.
10. A dead cow takes a really big hole to bury. It is much easier to pay $20 to have the rendering plant do a pick up. Don't look in the back of said truck if you don't want to experience the sights and smells of that poor guys job.

Cows are not impressed by Cobras. They do run when you fire one up.

Fast Farmer

[BeanCounter]

David,

Back in the late 80's and early 90's we used to live just up the road from you in Bluffdale. We ran cows up there along with an irrigated alfalfa field. If we were still living there I would have been happy to trade 40 or 50 of them to you for one of your alloy splendors... just so you could learn about cows

Though the prairie is our home we sure do miss looking across at Point of the Mountain.

[R U YELLA]

From all the stories that my Dad told me, if you want to get the cows attention while driving by - yell out "HOOOOKEEEE". It was always a laugh when he did it with his head out the window while driving!

Also many stories about going cow tipping - this can only be done at night and if you do tip them over make sure you get out of there fast!

Catch ya later
Ed

ps - David is my car done yet?

[Steve R]

Stuff you can do with cows:

Take one cow, let it die in Navada, wait one year. The end product is a cardboard like corpse who's bones rattle around when you kick it..... Sorta like a big maraca.
They are also very cuddly.
My brother with "Moo -Moo" the cow


Steve

[valpodoc]

udder cow trivia...dairy cows make bad eats, all the fat goes into the milk. Ray Crock (mcDonalds fame) figured this out and would mix dairy beef with standard stock. First low fat burger....also dairy beef is cheap.

I'm suprised your local dairy neighbor doesn't complain about the "noise" as loud noises stress dairy herds and lower milk production. No dairy farms near airports.

Roland

[PatBuckley]

Fast Farmer - that was funny, thanks!

[flipper35]

Most cows milk better with music. Maybe these cows are gearheads.

[hoppy]

R U Yella
Your dad doesn't know too much about getting a cow's attention. Everyone knows you lean out the window and yell "Hey Bosco!" to get them to look at you respectfully.

[petek]

Ah, for the nice quiet summer evening with the fellas... cow tipping and snipe hunting.

[Excaliber]

,,, wonder if David knows more about snipe hunting than he does about cows?

[BMK]

Hi all

Now cows on the 'clubcobra' site...



Ray Croc was right in his selection of prime beef for McDonald's burgers. The burgers are 100% beef with the only additive being salt and pepper.

The big trend here is eating crocodile or kangaroo. With the bigger restaurants having both on their menus.



Rest assured McDonald's will not put kangaroo on their menu.

Eating Skippy our kangaroo icon would not go down well.

Now your guys there have Charlie Bell from Australia to head up McDonald's so things will get better and better but "no kangaroo"



David, did you get a deposit from that neighbour??

Bernie

[John Poling]

Cow tipping does exist, and can be a hoot, but y'a better be fast on yer feet.

Anybody been Snipe hunt'n lately?

John

[BeanCounter]

Well to bring the cow and kangaroo subjects together, I might add that hanging around cows is like hanging around Captain Kangaroo.............. sooner or later you'll be known as Mr. Greenjeans.....oooooh

[Steve Cassani]

We lived on a cattle ranch for several years. The owner took considerable pride in his carefully designed lineage of registered Angus (black cows. You'll need this fact in a few moments). Propective bull purchasers would be given a ride through the herd so they could size-up the animals for themselves.

One afternoon a purchaser arrived and none of the ranch vehicles were available. The rancher spotted my black Miata and, knowing I leave the keys in it, invited the purchaser to tour the herd.

They were well into the tour when an especially well-built bull grabbed the purchaser's eye and he asked to stop while he got out and walked around the animal. Neither he nor the landowner knew that another bull had spotted the Miata and was walking slowly, and lovingly, behind it as they traveled through the herd.

The rancher stopped and both men got out to better view the bull. The rancher heard a characteristic mewling sound - characteristic of a desire for romance - and turned around to see the love-struck bull placing his chin and neck over the trunk of the Miata. The car gave a slight lurch as the 2,200 pound bull positioned himself for a moment of ecstasy. The rancher gave a loud bellow and ran at the bull, waving his warms, only to realize from the bull's glare that he was considered a competitor for the Miata's sexy curves.

The bull backed off long enough for the rancher to jump in the Miata and drive out of the pasture, leaving the prospective client alone in stunned disbelief. The explanation offerred later at the dining room table was met with silence. He did buy the bull he'd selected from the herd. Later in the evening the Miata was parked where it could be seen from the pasture. I heard a long, plaintive bellow. Broken heart, I'd guess.