David doesn’t know much about cows.

[Fast Farmer]

I know beef cows. I have a few head in a cow/calf operation. Here a few things I've learned about cows over the years.

1. Cows can only kick straight backwards, not sideways.
2. When outside sorting cattle on windy days, stay aware of wind direction and your relative position to a cow lifting her tail to expel processed feed or water.
3. Mothers are very protective of their calves and take great delight in pushing them under fences to hide them.
4. Calves are not always smart enough to return inside the fence when called by their mothers. On the flip side, cows often forget where they have hidden their calves.
5. Agitated cattle will take a small crack of daylight seen from inside a barn, and turn it into a rather large escape hole. I have a full sheet of plywood covering the side of the barn where a window once existed
6. You can bluff a cow escape attempt indoors or outside in the open by waving your arms, holloring, or as a last resort, with a well aimed kick to the nose. With experience, you recognize when the freight train is comin' and it is prudent to get the he!! out of Dodge!
7. Cows will "jump" fences. They get a good run up, launch their front legs over and crash down the fence, dragging their rear legs over.
8. Gender of cattle is NOT determined by whether they have horns or not. It is desireable to have a breed without horns at all.
9. Pulling a calf to assist a birth gets messy. So do emergency C-sections at midnight in the barn.
10. A dead cow takes a really big hole to bury. It is much easier to pay $20 to have the rendering plant do a pick up. Don't look in the back of said truck if you don't want to experience the sights and smells of that poor guys job.

Cows are not impressed by Cobras. They do run when you fire one up.

Fast Farmer