When will Mikiec be back living in AZ?

DWRAT · #1 (**permalink**) 08-07-2014, 11:19 PM

HealeyRick · #2 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 01:25 AM

A probable scenario:

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in New Hampshire. It is so
beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country.

Oct. 14 - New Hampshire is such a gorgeous place to
live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise.

Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why
anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in New Hampshire. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Thanksgiving
It started to snow.
The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.
So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.
I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.
What a fantastic sight!
Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.
I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.
What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow.
Such a disappointment!
My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.
No snow on Christmas would be awful!
Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again
I don't think that's possible.
Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night.
The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
This is the life!
The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.
I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast.
Sold my Cobra and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer.
The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.
I think that's silly.
We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning.
Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.
Hurt like hell.
The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing.
Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours.
I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.
God I hate it when she's right.
I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.
More shoveling!
Took all day.
The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.
I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March.
I think they're lying.
Bob says I have to shovel or the town will have it done and bill me.
I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.
Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.
By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel.
Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today
And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack.
If I ever catch the son of a ***** who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.
I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry freaking Christmas!
20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in.
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.
God, I hate the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude.
I think she's an idiot.
If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in.
Why the hell did I ever move here?
It was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20.
Still snowed in.
The ***** is driving me crazy!!!
It hasn't stopped snowing since Thanksgiving.
I have been inside since then, except of course when that idiot "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt until the 4th ofJuly! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the idiot actually had the nerve to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap??

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store
to get some food and a damn deer ran out in front of the Blazer and I hit the the poor thing. It did $3,000 in damage to the truck. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

Jamuary 5

10 more inches.
Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.
That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

January 6
Roof caved in.
I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.
The wife left for the Caribbean.
Nine more inches predicted.

January 10
Took the Blazer to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Truck looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow patty.

February 1
I set fire to what's left of the house.
No more shoveling.

February 8
Feel so good.
I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?
I miss 'zona.

nealgs · #3 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 03:35 AM

hahahahaha - ^ that is brilliant HealeyRick

Danr55 · #4 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 05:10 AM

sounds like New Hampshire is a lot like Utah in the Uintas.. Ha Ha Ha.. When I left there, I swore I'd never shovel another load of hard water the rest of my life..

DWRAT · #5 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nealgs

hahahahaha - ^ that is brilliant HealeyRick

+1000000000
That was the best post ever.

I bet Mikie is thinking there's no way it's that bad back there.

Scotchman · #6 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 06:54 AM

My first job was shoveling snow in Salt Lake City when I was 8 years old. I charged a nickel, dime, or quarter, depending on the driveway.

Anyway, a friend of mine got promoted years back and moved to Buffalo. He was managing 144 banks. $$$$ That first winter, they had record snowfall; he quit and moved back to Scottsdale, without a job.

Danr55 · #7 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 07:18 AM

Mikie should drop Mickmate a note and ask about the snow back there.. Last time I was in New Hampshire was in June and they still had patches of snow in the woods around Berkshire. It was cold in June.. how sad..

Karl Bebout · #8 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 08:20 AM

Healy, you made my back ache! Where I spent the first 30 years of my life, in Northern Ohio, didn't have nearly THAT much snow, but it still had 'way more than I ever wanted, except to get snow days off at school. I made my escape to AZ, not knowing a soul, and no job. Just the absolute need for sunshine, warmth, and a much better life. Thank goodness there are a lot of people that will continue to put up with that crappy life style, otherwise, even more people would be living here.

mikiec · #9 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 09:57 AM

The question should be... When will Ginny get tired of shoveling the white stuff?

I answered the poll. Guess which one I picked.

Maricopa · #10 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 10:00 AM

....aaannnnnd it's Mikie for the win!

Scotchman · #11 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 11:50 AM

We need pics of massive amounts of snow.

Robert McLinden · #12 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 12:09 PM

Having lived most of my life in the Northeast, from Maryland to New York, Conn. and PA the story is quite accurate. When it doesn't snow it rains or is cold and cloudy and damp. Even in Maryland we would only figure on 10 days a year that were truly pleasant. No question AZ is better. Watch out for the deer, if you don't hit them they will run right into you (ask me how I know). Good luck.

HealeyRick · #13 (**permalink**) 08-08-2014, 05:37 PM

Can't take credit for the story, versions have been around for a while. It's a bit exaggerated for NH, but winters are still long, cold and snowy. You know how Arizona is June-August? It's the opposite.