We all need a good laugh!!

[stefanog]

Ok guys, Rebel1 posted the funniest story and I thought I would start this thread "What is the stupidist thing you have done in your life!" I know we've all been there so don't hold back and let's all have a good laugh!

My story: My parents used to have an incinerator in the back yard and on a fine Saturday morning I was aked to burn the shopping boxes etc. My friend had come over to visit that morning so I mentioned I had this one chore to get out of the way and we could go out. As I loaded the incinerator to the max I thought that if I poured a little mower fuel on top it would get off to a great start! Thought I was smart by twisting a piece of paper and lighting it from a distance would be the way to go, however, it did not light, after several attempts I threw the paper in and proceeded to use the lighter, my friend in the background " Stef, you're going to kill yourself!" "It's ok, I know what I am do...........BOOOOOM! All I remeber was seeing the incinerator exploding outwards and going back to normal like in the cartoons and me blowing past my mate (who was standing 5 metres away!) backwards and landing in my dogs' crap! "Told ya!" I heard, laughing my head off, got up and noticed all the hair on my arms and legs was nowhere to be seen! Very funny at the time and lucky no one was badly hurt!

Yes I admit it! Stupid I know!

Stef

[BMK]

Stefanog

One of the dumb things I did as a kid was get a large roll of electrical tape out of my uncles truck - he was a Plumber and used that wide grey tape.

I kidded my younger brother into allowing me to tape up his arms and ankles. I then taped him to the clothes line in the backyard.

Somehow after he was all strapped up to the line I was distracted. I went off and forgot about him.

You know he was not missed until later after dinner as Mum thought he had gone next door.

He now has a real fetish about bondage!! Only kidding!!
He tells the story today, but slightly differently.

Bernie

[BMK]

Hey how about a more recent 'dumb thing' ..



I organised Hershal 'BTSNAKE' from Arizona and a few of the guys from 'Roarin Forties' to come along to a Victorian Cobra Club meeting.



Well, off we head from Rob Logans home ( Rob owns 'Roarin Forties') we head up to Melbourne and park at the Mercat Hotel.

"Hell there's not one Cobra here Hershal,' I say.



I had told him that there would be a least three or four and about 40 members.

You guessed, it I was a week early, completly mucking the dates up.

We had some pizza and beers and then cruised Melbourne for a few hours.

Me telling Hershal.. 'next time'..

The big mistake was.... I "Posted" the mistake apoligising to the people who had come along. Boy did I get a hard time. I have thick skin now so it just rubs off

Cheers

Bernie

[mikiec]

Bernie,

You should hear how Hersh tells that story...

Mike

[Adrian S]

We lived on a hill with a reasonably steep narrow twisty road. One day we thought it'd be fun to take the mirror off one of our Choppa bikes stick it in the lawn and shine it into motorists eyes as they came down the street. Took some time to get the adjustment right but we got there. Around the corner came a 6 tonne truck. I remember seeing the driver covering his eyes and swerving eratically. Us kids bolted over a neighbours fence and hid behind some bushes. He stopped and got out of the truck but fortunately went to the wrong house to complain.

[NASSTY]

This story might explain how I developed the need to have more horsepower!

I had leggo as a kid. Leggo had an electic motor and battery power pack that you could use in cars etc. The battery pack used 4 C sized batteries which made about 6 volts. The cable from the battery pack to the motor used connectors (2 pins) which coincidentially would also fit a universal power cord, the type used for small stereos and the like. They look like a figure 8 with 2 holes.

In my wisdom, I was about 6 or 7 y.o., I thought to myself, "Just imagine how much faster this engine would be if we (my older brother was there) hooked it up to the house mains. At 240v it should be 240/6 or 40 times faster!!!

So I did this and flicked the switch!

Well, in an instant, the motor and it's cable blew up!
Smoke from burning plastic filled the room.

Luckily no damage was done to the house mains or us, didn't even blow a fuse.

My brother I and collected the evidence and burried it in the backyard. Years later, when we were both in our late teens (and big enough to defend ourselves) we fessed up to M & D and exhumed the evidence! I think it was the same time when we fessed up to underage drinking etc etc.....

[PCC]

Good one Al,

I have a short one.......(story)

Push the Cobra out of the garage to catch some rays and watch it roll back into the letter box.

No amount of effort could stop it!!

That bloody letter box has claimed the Cobra and Landcruiser!

You would have thought a Landcruiser would have demolished the letter box, but no it stopped it in its tracks

I don't know why we have letter boxes anyway - they just bring bills

[stefanog]

Yep, it sure brings out the best of us!

Why don't we come up with some some sort of prize for the dumbest thing someone has done in the past?

Maybe a trophy! any ideas??

Prize (or trophy) will be handed out at the nationals!

should see some beauties come out!

What do you guys think??

Stef

[427 S/O]

A friend called me after changing the oil in his car, 'hey' perry I did what you told me but something is wrong?, oil is coming out of the dip stick hole. I drove over and looked under the hood, pulled the dip stick and 'sho nuff', oil was coming out of the tube?, I said where is the oil you drained out, he pulled one of those parts store, oil drain container from under the car, I opened the cap and tilted it to get some of the oil on my finger...........wait a minute......I looked under the car and said, mike, look down here and show me where you drained the oil from......get this..........he pointed at the automatic transmission plug......

[mate]

moved to Brisbane in March 1993. picked up a job in May (mrs couldn't handle me at home any longer ). the boys decided the newy needed a little drink....

the joint was the Victory Pub in the city on a Friday night. no worries. they picked me up in the company van and we made our way to one of the boy's place for a few warm up's and a bit of tucker. so on to the Victory....
decided i needed a little bit of extra dough (bit more than the mrs said i could have actually..it's called "living dangerously") and asked where the nearest ATM was. "just round the corner and up a bit" no worries i thought. "which corner did he say it was" after about the 5th bloody corner. anyway found the thing and 'somehow' found my way back to the pub again. half hour of drinkin time lost!! in i go..NO!! the gorilla at the entrance said "can't come in....sandshoes not allowed" F**K ME!!!! "it's a pub, mate" was my reply. "no entry" was his. he won. bloody pubs in Tamworth weren't like this!! so i waited....
and i waited, and i waited. FINALLY one of the boy's came out looking for me. only been an hour and a quarter since i headed of for the ATM. was starting to get a bit suspicious by now....
"where you been" he asked. "you don't want to know" i said. told him about the shoe problem. he went inside and one of the other blokes came out. he had a suit on, and 'proper' shoes hidden under his jacket. put the 'proper' shoes on, went past the entrance with head down and got in.
well the boy's decided i had to catch up and we got stuck in pretty well
deadline for home was midnight so being a good boy 1 headed to the cab at 11:45pm. estimated to be home at 12:30. within reason i thought.

reason didn't have much to do with the rest of the night....

a mate was let out of the cab at 12:15am about half way to my place. next thing i remember i was rolling down some gully. tried to walk up the gully and didn't make it. and didn't make it, and didn't make it. geez that XXXX has a kick....
i must have made it out of the gully cause i remember staggering around a carpark and falling over and over....
must have got bored cause the next thing i remember is that i'm at the bottom of the f**kin gully. but now it will be fun cause i have company. i'm lying on the ground in my little gully trying to speak and Mr and Mrs Police are standing over me. Mrs Police saw the funny side of the situation....Mr Police didn't apparently. saw his mouth moving but couldn't hear a thing. must have been the XXXX....
"somehow" they worked out where i lived and took me home. Mrs Police was still giggling but Mr Police was still not happy. all i can remember is sitting in the back seat of the police car and nodding....
they were still there when i knocked on the front door. suddenly felt much more sober as the outside light went on. sh*t. wonder if the nice police will save me from the mrs. the door opened, and they drove off. sh*t.
"what happened to you....it's 4.30am". oops....
i had bark of everywhere, bleeding from cuts to my ears, elbows, wrists, everywhere. bloody mess. needless to say the mrs was in to me. woke me up at 6am when i felt like death warmed up. she was in to me again. and i totally forgot that the nice school where our 2 elder daughters had just enrolled in a couple of months ago had a working bee on and i had put my name down to work. mrs said i couldn't go as i was a family disgrace. ouch. it was a very painful weekend that one....

the boy's at work collapsed when i told the story on Manday morning. mongrels....

[stefanog]

427 S/O,

is this guy still alive?? Oh the dilemmas!!

Don't let him change the brake pads!!


Mate, too funny!

Sounds like just another day out for most guys here in Sydney!!

Stef

[Rebel1]

Part 1.

Well...I've been thinking which story to tell .

Initially I was going to tell a story about the time myself a few friends staggered into a gay bikies bar at Kings cross... But much of that story remains suppressed in my memory so that one is out.

Then I was going to tell you about the time I was invited out on a mates yacht for some serious drinking and male bonding. Boats are great for this type of social event because one only has to stagger to the blunt end to relieve oneself. Grab the back stay with one hand to brace yaself...the other hand aiming " The weener" to ensure all went in the ocean.

Seems this back stay also served as the aerial of a 100 watt transceiver. Not nice when one of ya Ph*#%in mates hit the transmit button and yells into the mike.

Not gonna tell that one either as tears still come to my eyes.

The story I am goin to tell goes wayyyy back to when I was about 12 years old...about the turn of the century I think.
We used to have a Guy Faulks night when all us kids would build a giant bon fire and go around the neighbourhood blowing up letter boxes with what we called bungers.... like a giant fireworks cracker but with the power of a small stick of dynamite. These things would make short work of most letterboxes.

Anyways... for weeks before Guy Faulks night all us kids would spend our pocket money buying these fireworks. We'd buy sky rockets, strings of what were known as tom thumbs, and a heap of these bungers.

This particular year, the authorities declared fireworks to be dangerous and made the sale of them illegal. Seems too many kids were blowing fingers off playing with the things.

Anyways.....by the time this declaration was made I'd already procured some of this stuff as I had been planning retaliation on whoever it was that blew our letterbox to kingdom come the year before.

I didn't know who it was...but I figured if I blew every letterbox on the block..then I'd get the guilty party.

Lets just say I had a secured a $hitload of pyrotechnics.

So Mum tell me I've got to dispose of all my fireworks. Not allowed to " let em off" anymore she said....gotta destroy em by soaking them in a bucket of water and the council would come get the bucket.

Yeah right I thought....like there goes 2 months worth of pocket money. Like hell I'm goin to soak my crackers.

Soooo... being good kids and not wanting to disobey our parents, we decided that what we would do was to cut open all these fireworks and put all the powder into a tin with a wick and let off the biggest cracker we could in my backyard behind the toot.

[Rebel1]

part 2

By the time we had emptied the contents of these crackers we had accumulated enough powder to fill two powdered milk tins.

Each tin would hold about 500 grams ( approx 1lb ) and we had two of em.....

Now..the plan was to pierce a hole in the lid.....put in a 12" wick...and wrap the tin with all the packing tape we could find...turn the thing into a huge taped ball with a tail.

And..so the parents wouldn't find them we hid them under the toot .. the dunny as it was effectionately known.

The dunny in those days was a small free standing little outhouse in the backyard. This outhouse was only big enough to house a wooden seat under which which was a 20 gallon tin to collect the waste. The dunny was so small the door used to open outwards so you had enough room to sit on the throne.

Anyways..come the appointed day when all our parents were out us kids decided to let off one of these lil bombs we had manufactured.

Soo..retrieve one from under the toot.....down the backyard about 3 Mtrs behind the toot was the stump of a tree about 300mm above ground level. Put the thing on the stump....light the wick..and take off and wait for the blast.

Now....we knew that the blast was going to be big... but sheezzz.... KAAAABOOOM!!! Hiroshima all over again.

Bluddy hell....did it go off.....schrapnel and smoldering bits and pieces all over the back yard.

And...guess what? a piece of this smoldering crap must have ignited the second device under the dunny. ..now..if the first blast was frightening...the second was #$%$% terrifying.

Bluddy KAABOOOM !!!!!

I swear the dunny lifted about 3 feet off its stumps and never did settle back to its original position. But worse was that the tin of leftovers took off out the door of the dunny....contents still intact.....across the fence to the neighbours place almost getting his dog during its orbit.... then bounced off the bonnet and crashed thru the windscreen of this old willy's knight ute he had in the backyard.

Bluddy hell..... I can laugh about it now but I tell you....I was $hit scared of what was going to happen when the parents got home. Like there was no way could I clean up this mess like nothing had happened.

Today we see TV images of the Bali bombing or the embassy blast.....Thats what my back yard looked like.

And..the parents didn't let me down...I still bear the scars of the punishment to this day.

Thats my story of stupidity

[RockSnake]

427 S/O - I knew a fellow in college that had a room-mate who was always broke. To reduce the roomates's part of the rent, he "hired" him to change the oil in his Honda. Same story, emptied the transmission, and overfilled the engine...but nobody noticed until the tranny shelled-out. So, having proven the roomates mechanical prowess, what does he do? Lets him rebuild the transmission!

Some people never learn (and that car never moved again).

[427 S/O]

I've told that story a number of times and it never gets old, after we corrected his oil dilemma mike said, man please don't tell anyone we know. I said suuuuurrrre, you can count on me........

[xlr8or]

In high school I got really pissed at a very large wrestler and took a swing at him. Hit him as hard as I could right in the chops. He took a step back and asked: "Is there any other mistakes you would like to make before I kill you?" I didn't know wrestlers could run so fast. Took a good beating for that one. I gave him the best I could be he was the one still standing.

[stefanog]

Good morning all, it's great to see we've all got it! great getting up and reading these posts!

Rebel1, too funny! picturing the aftermath, my lord!!

xlr8or, still laughing! I did a similar thing back in high school and I know what the feeling is like (THE SMELL OF FEAR!)

Keep them coming guys!

Stef

[mate]

Stef

spent a couple of years in Sydney when i was younger and yeah there would be more than a few "interesting" story's to tell. the Pink P.u.s.s.y.cat in Kings Cross flashes to mind pretty quick for some reason

[stefanog]

mate, do tell!! This is the whole idea of this thread! Yep, that place brings back some memories for me too! We could talk about it for hours! not that my wife would want to here this!

"DEATH WILL BE SWIFT!"




Stef