The POOL ROOM

[letsboogie351]

The Polite Way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students

the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you

tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying:
'That would be rude and impolite.

What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said:
'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.'

'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the
word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'

Johnny said:
'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment?

I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope

to introduce you to after dinner.'

[boxhead]

I got a little "Arty" on Saturday arvo.

[letsboogie351]

Solid little bugger, must be a bull terrier?

[boxhead]

Chihuahuas, hence the flat face and bulgy eyes.

Although a mate pointed out that anyone's eyes would poke out if you had a Humber Hawk crank handle hanging out your backside.

[letsboogie351]

Can you name this strange old tool?


Do you know what it is?




Tobacco Smoke Enema Kit (1750s – 1810s)


The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum

for various medical purposes, but primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke into the rectum.
The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote respiration.
Doubts about the credibility of tobacco enemas led to the
popular phrase “blowing smoke up your ar*e.”

As you would expect, this odd tool is still used today by all levels of the government.

[Rog246]

Oh so true

[BMK]

Letsboogie351

..... So so true..

[Baz]

My neighbour was madly banging on my door at 2.30am the other morning.

Could you believe that. 2.30am.

Lucky that I was still up practicing my bagpipes.

[Rog246]

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

My work is done here.

------------------------------------------------------

[Rog246]

Water in the carburetor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous "

WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?

WIFE: "In the pool"

[Rog246]

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again! Men will get it the first time.

My work is done here.

[letsboogie351]

.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

[Rog246]

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she
has a terrible secret.
The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of
the confessional. She says,
"Father, I never wear panties under my habit." The priest chuckles and
says, That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Mary's,
five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

[darkside]

so waz the pic of my dog on his back too brazen for the poolroom?if not i can repost ...doc

[boxhead]

No Cookies | The Advertiser

[letsboogie351]

Something to smile about
cheers, Doug

[Rog246]

now there are some golden oldies in that lot mate!! LOL


Dave, you gotta stop posting car porn mate.
Don't think my heart can stand the stress!


Rog

[letsboogie351]

Judy Rudd an amateur genealogy researcher in south east Queensland , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's great-great uncle, Remus Rudd, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Melbourne in 1889. Both Judy and Kevin Rudd share this common ancestor.


The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows at the Melbourne Jail.


On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:

'Remus Rudd horse thief, sent to Melbourne Jail 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Melbourne-Geelong train six times.

Caught by Victoria Police Force, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed Prime Minister Rudd for information about their great-great uncle, Remus Rudd.



Believe it or not, Kevin Rudd's staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

"Remus Rudd was famous in Victoria during the mid to late 1800s. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Melbourne-Geelong Railroad..

Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the Victoria Police Force. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

NOW That's how it's done, Folks!

That's real POLITICAL SPIN! (Bullsh!t)

[Barker]

Sorry but after today's BS at Rocklea in QLD. Im not that politically orientated but Check Out the positives we can make a difference this September.,
We are all smart people we built our cars, do we want to continue to enjoy the ability to drive them when an where we want.?
http://www.facebook.com/AustralianMo...ocation=stream

Australian Motoring Enthusiast Party (AMEP)

VOTE 1 AMEP ♠

[letsboogie351]

Bloody Hell! Maybe I'm too quick to hang up on telemarketers.