Joke of the Day...

[flipper35]

This is a heck of a thing to post when trying to get people here, but ask Jamo, it isn't quite this bad.

You Know You're in the Imperial Valley When.....

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off...
You can make instant sun tea...
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your
car...
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead
of distance...
Hot water now comes out of both taps...
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one
person is out on the streets...
You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
You break a sweat the instant you step outside...at 7:30a.m.
before work...
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not
having air-conditioning...
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out
and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?...
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...

It's so hot in the Imperial Valley......

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the
ground.

The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have
lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them
from laying hard-boiled eggs.

It's so dry in the Imperial Valley...

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.

A sad Imperial Valleyite once prayed, "I wish it would rain--not so
much for me, cuz I've seen it--......but for my 7-year-old."

A visitor to the Imperial Valley once asked, "Does it ever
rain out here?" A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you
remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40
nights?" The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."
"Well," the rancher puffed up, we got bout two and a half inches during
that spell."

This is hyperbole I assure you.