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[bonyhadi]

French Government reports outbreak of Swine Fever

By BSNN.net Correspondent Pylup de Corpses

PARIS --- The French government released a report verifying
an outbreak
of
swine fever, also known as hog cholera, in the northeast
region of the
country.

"We think the outbreak has something to do with the presence
of Jews in
our
country," explained French Agricultural Minister Dr. Ful de
Fecal. "And
although we cannot verify it scientifically at this time, we
will go with

that theory until a better one comes along."

Although humans were previously thought to be immune to
swine fever, this
new
strain appears to be particularly virulent and does affect
humans. Dr. de

Fecal said the symptoms are somewhat bizarre, even in
France: "I believe
swine fever has already gained a foothold in our country.
Consider how
the
disease manifests itself -- it causes the victim to exude a
strong body
odor,
to reject personal cleanliness, to babble irrationally about
the loss of
French culture, and to blame others for one's own
misfortunes. If you
look at
a random sampling of Frenchmen, most exhibit some or all of
these
symptoms."

The large and vocal Arab community in France seems more than
willing to
blame
Jews for the outbreak of the disease. Sheik Rattlan Rol,
spokesman for
the
group "Arab Security Shield Helping Ostracized Losers in
Europe"
(ASSHOLE),
summarized the group's position: "Of course, you must
understand that
Jews
have used pigs for centuries to transmit a variety of
plagues upon the
Arab
peoples -- this is accepted as fact throughout the Middle
East."

When this reporter pointed out that Jews, like Muslims,
eschew pork in
all
its forms, Sheik Rol became highly agitated and reiterated
the official
ASSHOLE position.

"Lies, nothing but lies," Rol complained. "Jews control the
media
worldwide.
I tell you, my friend, the Zionists have opened barbequed
rib joints
throughout the West Bank to poison our young. They drop jars
of pickled
pigs
feet into refugee camps where our people are starving. Even
now, they are

using the diseased pigs to make little mosque-shaped
sausages to divert
our
people from the True Path!"

French President Jacques Chirac de Bop-bop Shoowop, in
consultation with
his
cabinet, offered a possible solution: "Perhaps we will
simply cede the
affected territory and livestock to Germany -- this is a
problem and, as
you
know, we French do not do well with problems."

DISCLAIMER -
1) In case you couldn't tell, this news story is not meant
to be taken
seriously.
2) Approximately 25% of what's contained in the news story
is factually
true,
it is up to you to figure out which 25% it is.
3) The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily shared
with anyone.
4) If we seem to be disparaging a particular person then we
probably are.

5) When in doubt, refer to #1, abov