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Old 07-17-2002, 09:14 PM
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Subject: Politically Correct

> >How To Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct: (new 2002 version)

> >1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

> > 2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

> > 3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

> > 4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

> > 5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

> > 6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

> > 7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

> > 8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

> > 9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

> > 10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

> > 11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

> > 12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

> > >================================================= =========

> > How To Speak About Men And Be Politically Correct:

> > 1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

> > 2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

> > 3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

> > >4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

> > 5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

> >>6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

> >7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

> >8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

> > 9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

> > 10. He is not HORNY - he is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
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