Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day,
I overheard some of the children talking about their siblings.
"My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one.
"My sister takes gymnastics," said another. Not to be outdone,
the youngest piped up, "My sister takes antibiotics!"









A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the
road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ticket you.

Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.

Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife
another a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!

The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut up?!"

The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, Does your husband talk to you this way
all the time?"

Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk."










"3 Kinds of Sex"

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got big problem,
Doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't
see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right outand asked his
wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you nevertell
me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!".

YOUNG SEX:
A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch talking, when
the
little girl asked: "Do you want to get undressed and we can play
doctor?"
The little boy replied "That's too old fashioned ...spit out your gum,
I want to play President."















A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back
to his place.

They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. "What's that?" the lady
questions.

"Oh, I wear this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."

Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE.


"What's that?" the lady questions again.

"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."

Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.

"You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams. "No, no! Calm down,"! the man replies. "This will say ADIDAS in a minute..


























As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day,
I overheard some of the children talking about their siblings.
"My brother takes karate lessons," bragged one.
"My sister takes gymnastics," said another. Not to be outdone,
the youngest piped up, "My sister takes antibiotics!"









A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror pulls to the side of the
road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car.
The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone. I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ticket you.

Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.

Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks! [The man gives his wife
another a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!

The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't you just shut up?!"

The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, Does your husband talk to you this way
all the time?"

Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk."










"3 Kinds of Sex"

LOUD SEX:
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got big problem,
Doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't
see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX:
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right outand asked his
wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you nevertell
me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!".

YOUNG SEX:
A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch talking, when
the
little girl asked: "Do you want to get undressed and we can play
doctor?"
The little boy replied "That's too old fashioned ...spit out your gum,
I want to play President."















A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back
to his place.

They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. "What's that?" the lady
questions.

"Oh, I wear this so that when I'm on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me."

Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says NIKE.


"What's that?" the lady questions again.

"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on TV."

Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo that says AIDS.

"You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams. "No, no! Calm down,"! the man replies. "This will say ADIDAS in a minute..