Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams.

"I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and
my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream."

"I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was
in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life."

His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women,
and you didn't call me?"

"Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd
gone fishing."



>
> > >New Defenitions
> > >>>>
> > >>>>ADULT:
> > >>>>A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is
> > >>>>now growing in the middle.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>BEAUTY PARLOR:
> > >>>>A place where women curl up and dye.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>CANNIBAL:
> > >>>>Someone who is fed up with people.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>CHICKENS:
> > >>>>The only animals you eat before they are born and
> > >>>>after they are dead.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>COMMITTEE:
> > >>>>A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>DUST:
> > >>>>Mud with the juice squeezed out.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>EGOTIST:
> > >>>>Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>GOSSIP:
> > >>>>A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will
> > >>>>do more damage.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>HANDKERCHIEF:
> > >>>>Cold Storage.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>INFLATION:
> > >>>>Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>MYTH:
> > >>>>A female moth.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>MOSQUITO:
> > >>>>An insect that makes you like flies better.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>RAISIN:
> > >>>>Grape with a sunburn.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>SECRET:
> > >>>>Something you tell to one person at a time.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>SKELETON:
> > >>>>A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>TOOTHACHE:
> > >>>>The pain that drives you to extraction.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>TOMORROW:
> > >>>>One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>YAWN:
> > >>>>An honest opinion openly expressed.
> > >>>>
> > >>>>WRINKLES:
> > >>>>Something other people have. You have character
> > >>>>lines.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >





Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into
an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed
for the purpose." -- Winston Churchill

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"Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next
spring."

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Q: What do you get when you try to cross an elephant with a poodle?
A: A dead poodle with a fourteen inch asshole.