Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

Keli and Anni were having a picnic in a park. Anni says,
"See my new diamond ring? My husband bought it for me."

Keli replies, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

Anni then says, "And see that shiny new Jaguar parked over
there? My husband bought it for me."

To which Keli says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

Anni then tells her, "And you know that big white house at the
top of the hill? My husband is gonna buy that for me."

Again Keli says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"

Anni then says, "Oh my stars, here I am, going on and on about
myself! Tell me, what does your husband do for you?"

Keli tells her, "Well, my husband sent me to charm school."

Anni asked, "Charm school? Why on earth would he do that?"

Keli replies, "Because I used to say, 'Who gives a flying fart?,'
but now I say, 'Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!'"









Q. What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A. A crack in the ceiling.










A man from Idaho goes to New York City, on business, for the
first time.
After checking in to the hotel he goes down to the bar to have a
drink.
He orders a rum and coke. The bartender gives it to him and says,
"That will be eight dollars."

He give the bartender the money and says, "Man, everything is so
expensive here in New York!"

The bartender replies, "It cant be that much more than where you
live."

The man replies, "Oh yes, it is! Why do you know that, in my home
town,you can go out drinking all night for nothing!
And if you feel you've had too much to drink. You can check into
the finest hotel and spend the night for nothing! And not only that,
when you wake up there is a twenty dollar bill on the pillow next to
you!"

The incredulous bartender says, "I find that very hard to
believe. Has that ever really happened to you?"

The guy replies, "Well no, not exactly...but it happens to my
wife all the time!"










A graduate student in speech therapy had two days to cure her
patients of their stutters. She came to a therapy session in a revealing

outfit and offered a blowjob to anyone who could pronounce the name of
the city in which they were born without stuttering. The first man stood

up and said, "B-b-b-b-b-b-Boston."

Dejected, he shook his head and sat back down. The next guy stood
and said, "Ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca-Cleveland."

He slapped his thigh in frustration and sat back down. The third
guy stood and without hesitation said, "Miami."

The student fell to her knees and began sucking the man off.
After finishing, she looked up and said, "What do you have to say now?"

He replied, "B-b-b-b-b-Beach."











Little Johnny was a Jewish boy.* He was walking with his
girlfriend on
the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful
doctor,and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.

As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out
of the window and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this," she asked.

"Taste it," Little Johnny replied, "If you like it, I'll give you
a whole one!"