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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about
something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they had found, the first little boy
called upon walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of
chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was. "It's a period," said
the little boy. "Well, I can see that," the teacher said, "but what is
so exciting about a period?"
"Danged if I know," said the little boy, "but this morning, my sister
was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man
next door shot himself."
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Proposed New Florida State Mottos
~ If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.
~ Home of electile dysfunction.
~ We count more than you do.
~ If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 out of here
and visit one of the other 56 states.
~ We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed.
~ Relax, Retire, Re-vote.
~ Viagra voters do it again!
~ What comes after 17,311?
~ Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
~ This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.
~ We don't just cheat in football.
~ We're number one! Wait! Recount!
~ So nice, we let you vote twice.
~ We put the *duh* in Florida.
~ This isn't good when Alabama counts faster than us!
~ Once is never enough!
~ We would do a recount but we've run out of fingers and toes!
~ Don't blame me, I voted for Gore. I think.
~ Don't blame me, my vote didn't count.
~ We're retired -- no wait -- we're retarded!
~ Don't count on us!
~ Home of the edible chad.
~ Bumbling better than ever!
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Pornolize - porn for nerds
http://www.pornolize.com/
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SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross
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You're Not A Kid AnymoreWhen:
Your biggest concern about dancing is falling.Your back goes out more than you do.You no
longer laugh at Preparation H commercials.
You have a dream about prunes.You tell the barber to comb it over the best he can.Your Chihuahua weighs more than
25 pounds.You read the obituaries daily.Digestion is a consideration when reading a menu.
You are alarmed by how young your doctor is.You think about Walter Cronkite at least once a day.You wear knee high
stockings with everything.
Your idea of a perfect nightcap is Metamuscil.You find no humor in bladder control jokes.You can't climb a tree...even
with a ladder.You browse the bran cereal section in the grocery store.
You play golf with your wife.You don't like to drive after dark.Nobody ever tells you to slow down.
You recognize the song playing on this page,
you just can't remember the name of it.
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http://isfunsoft.myrice.com/swf/peeping.swf
http://isfunsoft.myrice.com/swf/peeping.swf
(Slide your mouse arrow over the people!)
TOO much information LOL
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