Joke of the Day...

[bonyhadi]

Attached: A clip of Robin Williams from his recent show,
Live On Broadway, discussing the invention of golf.
HYSTERICALLY funny; NOT for the easily offended!

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Difficult Words To Say When You're Drunk


Specificity
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
British Constitution

Impossible Words To Say When You're Drunk
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Impossible Words To Say When You're Drunk

Thanks, but I don't want sex.
No, I don't want another drink.
No kebab for me, thank you.
Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
Good evening, officer.
I'm not interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.
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Q: What did they call that herd of wild oxen that developed
vertigo after migrating from Tibet to Kenya?
A: Afro Dizzy Yaks.

Q: Why are redneck murder mysteries are so hard to solve?
A: The DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.

Q: What's the definition of a will?
A: It's a dead giveaway.

Q: What do you call a 300 pound woman from Texas?
A: Anorexic.

Q: What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an ass?
A: Bush's tie.

Q: How does the LAPD play poker?
A: Four clubs beat a king.

Q: What's the fourth biggest lie?
A: "It's only a cold sore."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee was blowing fowls.

Q: Why is the contraceptive sponge such a great idea?
A: Because after you **** her, she can get up and wash dishes with it.

Q: How small was it?
A: Let's just say she didn't suck, she flossed.

Q: What do you call a farmer with a pig under one arm and
a sheep under the other?
A: Bisexual.

Q: Why are hotdogs America's favorite food?
A: Because they taste better than dildos.

Q: When you order a Bloody Mary, how can you tell if the waitress
is pissed at you?
A: She leaves the string in it.

Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

Q: What's the difference between spinach and boogers?
A: Not everyone likes the taste of spinach.

Q: How many evolutionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it takes him 200,000 years.
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Whorizon Wireless
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/popt...commercial.asp
ROFLMAO!

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The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon. The bride's mother
asks the groom: Did you enjoy "the whole thing"?
The groom answers: Yes, I enjoyed the "hole" and she enjoyed the
"thing"!!
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Bubba's old uncle Herman goes into an ice cream parlour walking very
shakily with a cane. He sits down at the counter and orders a
chocolate sundae from the soda jerk. The soda jerk asks him, "Crushed
nuts?" Herman
replies, "No, arthritis."
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The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited.
Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on
productive salesmanship.

Little Mary led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,"
she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the
customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious
success."
"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and
I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of
current events."
"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped
a box full of cash on the teacher's desk."$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"
"Tooth brushes," said Little Johnny.
"Tooth brushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell
enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"
"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a
Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample.
They all said the same thing.
Hey, this tastes like ****!
Then I would say.............." It is ****."
Wanna buy a toothbrush?"
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