CDC,
For you,
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to < BR>
radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was
sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
Feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of
the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a ga rden hose,
which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start wor k ing, is
take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my
whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it
into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as
fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with
five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, t hin k about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love
my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a
jellyfish
bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
Ron
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