Joke of the Day...

[Ron61]

Marine Corps Rules

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional, but, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always win. There is no unfair fight.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you ar e not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.




Navy SEAL's Rules

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.





US Army Rangers Rules

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving





US Army Rules

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.



US ARMY RECON
1. Slip silently into area of operations.
2. Kill anything that moves or breathes.
3. Sneak out of area of operations.
4. Haul ass to the LZ for the pickup.
5 Call in heavy artillery and an air strike to cover up infiltration activity.
6. Destroy all maps and reference materials.
7. Play dumb when you return to firebase.



US Air Force Rules
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.




US Navy Rules
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines