Joke of the Day...

[Maurice Johnson]

Guy gets a flat outside a mental hospital. Jacks the car up and puts the 4 wheel nuts in the hubcap. bounces the spare out of the trunk,it hits the hubcap, flips it over, and all 4 nuts go down the drain. He stands back and scratches his head for a few minutes. A patient, who has been watching him from a window says "why don't you put 1 nut from each of the other wheels on that wheel. All 4 wheels will be equally supported, and you can drive safely to the gas station."
The driver says," hey ,that is a good idea. If you could figure that out, why are you in a mental institution?"
The guy says," I am in here because I am crazy--not because I'm stupid"

[Ron61]

The Lie Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at
the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"'Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that
she never told a lie."

"'Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Barrack Obama's clock?" asked the man.

"'Obama's clock is in Jesus’ office."

"Why is that?"


"He's using it as a ceiling fan.."

[Joe Wicked]

LMAO. That was funny as hell.