Ignore (EOM)

[Ibr8k4vetts]

>>1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to
>>kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
>>
>>2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
>>the carpet."
>>
>>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm
>>going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
>>
>>4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
>>
>>5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
>>break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
>>
>>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
>>case you're in an accident."
>>
>>7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to
>>cry about."
>>
>>8 My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and
>>eat your supper."
>>
>>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on
>>the back of your neck!"
>>
>>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that
>>spinach is gone."
>>
>>11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a
>>tornado went through it."
>>
>>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
>>you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>>
>>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
>>world, and I can take you out."
>>
>>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
>>your father!"
>>
>>15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
>>fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
>>do."
>>
>>16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
>>home."
>>
>>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you
>>get home!"
>>
>>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your
>>eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
>>
>>19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know
>>when you are cold?"
>>
>>20 My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
>>don't come running to me."
>>
>>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
>>vegetables, you'll never grow up."
>>
>>22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
>>
>>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you
>>think you were born in a barn?"
>>
>>24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
>>understand."
>>
>>25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
>>have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."