1. Push the TALK button. Do you get a dial tone?
2. No. The suddenness could be in the eyes of a person in the story. The reader on the other hand, may have seen the "thing" coming for a long time.

Ms K - everyone on CC is glad that everyone is OK.

Strained or broken ribs ... do not cough or laugh, and I said it before, God Forbid ... do not sneeze.

If it hurts, don't do it. If it hurts in bed, sleep in a chair. I did that for 3 weeks. A tight wrap or small vest will help if you have pain during normal breathing (at max intake). I found that getting in and out of my daily driver was a real problem. Had to sit in the chair and then lift both legs at the same time and swing them in the car.

The house in the picture is right on the Atlantic Ocean. The picture really does not do it justice. You have to blow it up to see all the detail on the house. Its like a gingerbread house.

Well, my baby back ribs with corn on the cob and carrots is almost done. Ummmm ... smells goooooooood.

Chili Contest

Please Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a
parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.


Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.


Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You
could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI........

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.


Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.


Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI........

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose
feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC.........

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the
beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER.......

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY.......

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI........

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can
of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI........

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 No Report!

Steve, that one is very old.

So you do not check to see how many bars you have?

I must be living too far out on the fringe, we have to check antenna all the time. We do the same thing when we are over seas.

Well, I am doing the Fred thing for my ribs. Hurts like heck when I sneeze or cough.

We are looking at 90 degrees today...a real heat wave. I may have to get tips from Ron on handling the heat.

:D :D :D

Tru,

Hope the ribs heal quickly. I think most people on here have had broken ones at one time or another. I used the Warren Method and slept in a recliner for a week or so. Nothing but rest is going to heal them. Oh, and the less you breathe the better. :LOL:
Whatever you do, don't take a drink and then sneeze and have it coming out of your nose and everywhere. That will take you to a level of pain that I don't think they have a measurement for. :CRY:
As for the heat, just turn on the air conditioner, get something food to read and relax. I know, easier said than done.

Ron :p

I always read my food, just before I eat it. :LOL:

Tough day today, almost like going to work. Three wash loads. Washed the dishes. Fixed a storm window for the back porch. Two panes of glass and putty. Picked some veggies and balanced my check book. Did some weeding and dead-heading the flowers. Did some food shopping - had to get some more corn on the cob! Ordered some stuff on the Internet. Started to do some sanding on Turtle. Did some work on the Cobra and all of a sudden I got a pain in my back when I bent down. Just what I need. Everybody's gettin' too old.

Temp got all the way up to 73°F today .. just got back from a short ride. Temp down to 66°F. Invigorating!

Time for some supper, read the paper and watch some TV.

Tru,
Be my way or Warren's way on your ribs,it is all about not aggravating the situation & time.
I have been a walking accident most my life,many broken bones besides ribs.
Ribs are by far the worst !

Warren,

Strange weather here for this time of year. It has been very windy but the high was only around 88 yesterday and I was cold. I think it is supposed to be around 100/102 today again but still windy.
Getting old isn't to bad. I am used to it. I fell from a ladder two days ago and hit both of my knees on the concrete and they are so sore that I hate to even stand let alone walk.
Take good care of Turtle. He needs some help after all of those Winters he has had to go through.

Ron:)

In the 90 degree heat, I stacked a row of wood. I feel like I got something done!

Dang, I see three more weeks of income and then it is unemployment. This sucks.

:D :D

:)

Tru,

Something will turn up. And you can draw your unemployment for a while. That way you can let your ribs heal. Heck, go visit Warren and sand on Turtle for awhile.

Ron :)

Whew, Had to fix the washing machine this morning. The timer had petered out.

It is really nice outside right now. We are getting a little of the outer rings of Gustav but no rain. Just the temp dropped about 15* and the wind picked up a little. Nice! At least right now.

Hope everyone is well.

Tru,
I have never broken a rib but I have bruised a few bones in my day. I do remember how bad that hurt for weeks on end.

The mother in law fell down and twisted her ankle really bad. Thank Goodness it isn't broken. We went to the hospital..... Damn. I told Carrie if I ever need a hospital just let me die. Who can afford that :(

I asked them if it would help if I told them I was illegal. They didn't think that was funny.

Hang in there Tru, You will figure out a way.

Steve, we got some rain here last night. Nothing really severe but some pretty strong winds and a good rain.

Is that from the hurricane??

I haven't been following the national weather...no time.

:D :D

Good Morning all.

Just read in the paper that Killer Kowalski died over the weekend. RIP Walter.

Temp all the way up to a scorching 72°F and its supposed to get all the way up to 74°F later. OMG, what will I do in the sunny oppressive weather this afternoon? Got a lot done this AM. Breakfast, started to read the paper and just woke up from a 2 hour nap. :p

Anybody watch the convention last night? Fred Thomson gave an excellent speech and mentioned some things about McCain that I did not know. Lieberman's speech was pretty good too. Amazing that the VP pick for the Democrats just 8 short years ago spoke at the Republican convention.

First Come, First Served
 

I have 4 extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel daredevil event at Lambeau Field next weekend if anybody wants them. As you know, Robbie Knievel followed in his dad's footsteps and is one of the greatest daredevil jumpers of our time. At this event, he's going to try to jump 5000 Obama supporters with a bulldozer.

Please let me know by Monday.

Is that with or without a jet engine?

No jets, no blowers ... just good old heavy smokin' diesel power, with tons of crushing power! :LOL::LOL:

Yes, it is slowng down now into almost nothing, but what we are getting is what is left of it.


We did not get any rain at all. But the temp is still way down compared to a cople of days ago.

Wow, it was chilly this morning. I almost had to roll up the windows for the drive into work as I was starting to get cold. 75° here now. High supposed to be in the upper 80s. Beautiful day, sunny and comfortable.

Chilli in Texas?? ( a little play on words )

Joe, Steve can tell you how to get fired up on chilli. :D

I can honestly tell you all, excessive education is a bad thing while looking for a job.

:rolleyes: