Jokes

[bliss]

A deaf couple are getting married, and the man decides that they
should make sure from the start that they understand important
matters, so using sign language he explains to his bride:

"When - I - want - sex - with - you, - I - will - squeeze - your
- left - breast - once."

"When - I - do - NOT - want - sex - with - you, - I - will -
squeeze - your - right - breast - twice."

"When - you - want - sex - with - me, - you - should - pull - my
- penis - once."

"When - you - do - NOT - want - sex - with - me, - you - should -
pull - my - penis - fifty - five - times."
_____

A man went to the doctor's office to ask for a triple dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a triple dose..

'Why not?' asked the man.

'Because it's not safe,' replied the doctor.

'But I need it really bad,' said the man.

'Well, why do you need it so badly?' asked the doctor.

The man said, 'My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose.'

The doctor finally relented saying, 'All right, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.'

On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor's office...his right arm in a sling.



The doctor asked, 'Good Grief! What happened to you?'

The man said, 'No one showed up.'