Jokes

[bliss]

So this husband and wife go to his doctor for an annual checkup.

Doc checks out the husband then calls the wife in for a private conference.

Doctor: "Ma'am, I'm afraid your husband has a rare condition. Although he looks and feels fine, he's actually very ill. I don't think we should tell him about it, because the stress could kill him. You need to cook him a gourmet dinner every night, have regular relations with him, and give him a full massage and rub his feet after work every day. He should not be allowed to do any housework or yardwork of any sort. Do not argue with him or cause him any sort of stress, just agree with everything he says. If you don't do this, he'll be dead in less than three months. Do you understand this?

Wife: Yes, Doctor I understand. Thank you.

(they drive home)

Husband: What did the doctor say to you?

Wife: He says you're going to die.
___

Worst job, ever......

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?

" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"