Jokes

[bliss]

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to
amaze their men… that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and a mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again...
The engaged girlfriend said, “The other night, when my boyfriend came
home, he found me in the leather bodice, four inch stilettos and mask. He said, ‘You are the woman of my life, I
love you.’ Then we made love all night long.”
The mistress stated, “Oh yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos,
mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn’t say a word. We just had wild sex
all night.”
The married one then said, “The other night, I sent the kids to stay at my mothers. I got myself ready, leather
bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a
beer, and said, ‘Hey Batman, what’s for dinner?’”
_____

These are pictures of a polar bear attacking a man.
The pictures were taken while people watched and could
do nothing to stop the attack! Reports from the local
newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery.

Warning: graphic gore.

http://dotcomjoe.com/1206f1

[bliss]

A Chinese guy goes to a Jewish merchant to buy black bras, size 38.

The merchant, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.

The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs.

He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.

The merchant tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.

The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jews remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.

The Jewish merchant is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38 bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"

The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jews for $200.00 each."

.......and this is why the Chinese own us!

"Business is Business"
_____

There was a knock on the door last week.

I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing

there who said: "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

So I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the sh&t out of me, I've never gotten this far before."

[bliss]

Public Videos... - C. Moore (MooreFoto)'s Photos | SmugMug Married to an Italian

I Don't Feel Stupid Anymore | Fun Toxin

I had lunch with 2 of my friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a black mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went:

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a black mask.
He said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office wearing a raincoat, and under it only the black bra, plus heels and a black mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stilettos and a black mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said:





Scroll down






"What's for dinner, Zorro?"