Jokes

[bliss]

Starts out a little slow but then really heats up - (no, not that kind of pole dancing)....


BEST Pole Dance Ever by Jenyne Butterfly 2011 - YouTube
_____

Dear Abby:

The other night on my way home I stopped
in at the neighborhood tavern for a drink.
When I left someone shouted after me,
"You filthy $lut!"
What should I do?

Desperate


Dear Desperate:

Stop hanging out where they know you.
_____

Have you ever told a 'white' lie?


For all ladies who bake for church events............

Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies' group bake sale,
but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She baked an angel food
cake and when she took it from the oven, the center had dropped flat.

She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." So,
she looked around the house for something to build up the center
of the cake.

Alice found it in the bathroom ... a roll of toilet paper! She plunked it in
and covered it with icing. The finished product looked beautiful, so she
rushed it to the church.

Alice then gave her daughter some money and instructions to be
at the sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, the attractive cake had
already been sold. Alice was beside herself.

A couple of days later, Alice was invited to a friend's home
where two tables of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the
game, a fancy lunch was served......and to top it off, the cake in
question was presented for dessert.

Alice saw the cake. She started to get out of her chair to rush into the kitchen
to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, one of the other
ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!"

Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (a prominent
church member) say ......... "Thank you. I baked it myself!"