Jokes

[letsboogie351]

Up north a man decided to wash his sports shirt. He opens the washing
machine then stops, thinking for a minute.
He shouts to his missus,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replies. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yells back, "Manchester United.




My small grandson got lost in the new Liverpool One shopping centre.
He approached a security guard and said, "I've lost my Granddad."
The guard asked, "What's his name?"
The child replied, "Granddad."

The guard smiled asked: "But what's he like?"
The little angel thought for a moment and then replied, "cans of lager and
women with big tits."




Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of
200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tonnes of
heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian
prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.
Local residents were stunned and a community spokesman said:
"We're all shocked, we never knew we had a library."