Jokes

[letsboogie351]

What can a man do while his wife is going
through menopause?
Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live.


Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the
bible... Is that true? Where is it?
Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ...."


LET US OFFEND EVERYONE!Tasmanian couple walking out of the divorce court, the wife is crying her heart out.

Husband says ' Oh for Christ's sake stop crying, you're still my sister'

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My ex-wife asked what reincarnation is. I explained, when you die you come back as something else.

She said she wanted to come back as a pig.

I said, 'You're not bloody listening'
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Was depressed last night, rang lifeline. Got a call centre in Afghanistan , told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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I am going to watch my wedding video in reverse later.

I love the part where she takes her ring off and walks down the isle backwards, gets in the car and pisses off.

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Today an Abbo was found nailed to a tree, stabbed six times and shot twice.

Redfern police said it's the worst case of suicide they had ever seen.

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A car bomb was found outside Lakemba mosque today. Police have urged the public not to panic as they have managed to push it back inside.

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Woman goes into a shoe shop ...

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My Favorite...... Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, 'get this out of me, give me drugs'.

She turns to the boyfriend and says 'You did this to me you bastard'.

He replied casually, 'If you remember, I wanted to stick it up the other way but you said, 'Bugger off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing'