Jokes

[bliss]

Once upon a time, a Handsome Prince asked a Beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"

The Princess said, "No!!!"

And the Handsome Prince lived happily ever after,
and rode motorcycles,
and banged skinny long-legged big-breasted chicks,
and hunted and fished,
and raced cars.

He went to nudie bars,
and dated women half his age,
and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan,
and never heard *****ing,
and never paid child support or alimony,
and banged cheerleaders.

He kept his castle and guns,
and ate spam and potato chips and beans whenever he wanted,
and blew enormous farts,
and never got cheated on while he was at work.

All his friends and family thought he was frickin' cool as hell,
and he had tons of money in the bank,
and left the toilet seat up all the time.

And he lived, of course, very happily ever after.

THE END.

[bliss]

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Velcro — what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.