Jokes

[bliss]

Gull and Balls.....

I can't describe it, you just gotta see it.

http://dotcomjoe.com/Gull_with_balls.wmv
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First grade class comes in from recess. Teacher asks Alice:
“What did you do at recess?” Alice says, “I played in the
sand box.” Teacher says ”that's good. Go to the blackboard,
and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a
fresh-baked cookie.”
She does and gets cookie.

Teacher asks Billy what he did at recess. Billy says, “I
played with Alice in the sandbox.” Teacher says, “Good.
If you write 'Box” correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you
a fresh baked cookie.”
Billy does, and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at
recess. He says, ”I tried to play with Alice and Billy,
but they threw rocks at me.” Teacher says, “Threw rocks at you?
That sounds like blatant racial discrimination.
If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination'
I'll give you a cookie.”

[bliss]

Dangerous food...

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."

"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said,

"Wedding cake."
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A guy is driving along and encounters a police roadblock
He stops and rolls down the window and asks a policeman what the fuss is about
The policeman replies, ''We're looking for a serial rapist''
The guy says, ''Not me''
''On your way''
Five minutes later the guy turns up again at the roadblock, rolls down his window and says
''I've changed my mind, I'll do it.''

[bliss]

Michelle Jenneke: Australian hurdler, dancing sensation | Fourth-Place Medal - Yahoo! Sports

A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest," said the eldest daughter.

He then asked his second daughter who she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest," said the second daughter.

He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground," said the youngest daughter.