Jokes

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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? * Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple? * The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? * It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? * No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? * You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? * Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? * No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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"Go and have a look at the size of the poop I've just done in the bathroom!" I said to my wife.

"No thanks," she replied.

"Please, just one quick look," I said, "You won't believe it."

She pinched her nose, ran in, looked down the toilet, then ran out and said, "There's nothing down there, you must've flushed it."

I said, "It's on the scales."
_____

Some inspiration....

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Ever considered sitting in the front few rows of a plane?

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SEX AT 79
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 79.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
____

A recent nationwide event left me feeling like this.....

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Looking for a new lawn mower, etc?

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