Jokes

[bliss]

The Greatness of Socrates

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumor or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes, let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually, I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.



( It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife. )
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Patty is visiting her father Ralph at the nursing home.

'I've been sleeping really well these past few weeks,' Ralph says.

'Why?' Patty asks. 'Have the nurses been giving you something to help you sleep?'

'Yes,' Ralph says. 'Every night I'm given an glass of warm milk and Viagra.'

'Why are they giving you Viagra?' she asks.

'I don't know,' Ralph says.

Patty finds a nurse down the hall and asks to know more about their sleeping aids.

'The warm milk helps him sleep,' the nurse says.

'But why the Viagra?' Patty asks.

'Oh,' the nurse says. 'That just keeps him from rolling out of bed.'