Jokes

[bliss]

A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.

Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

To which he replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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[bliss]

Jake goes to his friend Mike and says …"I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him back in church for an hour after the service for me?" Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees.

After the service, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister..."My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago".
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