Jokes

[bliss]

The Washington Redskins finally drops offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins."

It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.
_____

The Washington Redskins finally drops offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as "The Redskins."

It was reported that he finds the word 'Washington' imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

[bliss]

[bliss]

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says."

The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"

The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it!"

The teacher fainted!!
_____

[Ron61]

Courtesy of one of our South African members:

​Random thoughts

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Ron

[Ron61]

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm
based in Dublin.

A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had
similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet
room with no interruptions by the Manager.

When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.

The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the
interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

Murphy,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions
correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.”

Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on
the question you got wrong.”

Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than
another?”

Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I
don't know.’


You put down, 'Neither do I.’ "

Ron