Jokes

[bliss]

I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat,
my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had
TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt.
I even had full medical and dental coverage."


I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?"


"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, I just got out of prison."
_____

Plan G - Nursing Home Plan

Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for “Medicare Plan G”.

The plan gives anyone 65 or older a gun (Plan G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!