Jokes

[bliss]

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army!

The interviewer, "We want a person with a suspicious mind, always alert,
merciless, ready to attack, an acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly, having a KILLER INSTINCT !!!
So do you think you are eligible?"

Man, "No Sir, but........ can my Wife apply..?"
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An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years,
until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.

They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: "Butter - 10 Francs"

In response, the lady added a sign to her own window: "Butter - 9 Francs"

The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: "Butter - 8 Francs"
Sure enough, the day after the lady's sign now read: "7 Franc."

This went on for a while until eventually one of the lady's customers pointed to the sign and said, "Madam, you cannot keep your prices so low for long.
These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."

In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered, "Monsieur, I don't even sell butter."
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When a fly falls into a cup of coffee……

The Italian – throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.

The German – carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.

The Frenchman – takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese – eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian – Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli – sells the coffee to the Frenchman, sells the fly to the Chinese, sells the cup to the Italian, drinks a cup of tea, and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian – blames the Israeli for the fly falling into his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian, so there will be peace!