Jokes

[bliss]

I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly" she said "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with".

"That's fair enough" I replied "When can you start?"
_____

When they told you to seek attention... they meant "medical", not "internet".
_____

A child with an imaginary friend is normal.

An adult with an imaginary friend is strange,

And a group of people with an imaginary friend is called religion.
_____