Jokes

[BAsque1]

"Logic"

Two Texas farmers, Joe and Jim Bob are sitting at their favorite bar
drinking beer.

Joe turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life
without an education.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Texas A&M and sign up for some classes."

Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Joe goes down and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him
up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Joe says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example.

Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking because you own a weed eater I think that you would
have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says "Because you have a yard, I think logically
that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family."

"Yes, I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a
wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a
heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing you were able to find out all of that
because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Joe shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go
meet Jim Bob at the bar.

He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English,
History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?"

Joe says, "Well, I'll give ya an example.

Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."

[EZ$]

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip, or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled, and said, "Business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer", she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the most popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish decent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry." she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends just call me Bubba."