Jokes

[bliss]

Judy walks into a dinner party with a much older man.

At dinner, the lady sitting next to the woman turns to her and says, "My, that's a beautiful diamond you're wearing. In fact, I think it's the most beautiful diamond I have ever seen!"

"Thank you," replies Judy. "This is the Plotnick Diamond."

"The Plotnick Diamond? Is there a story to it?"

"Oh yes, the diamond comes with a curse."

"A curse?" asks the lady. "What curse?"

"Mr. Plotnick."
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A Philosophy professor walked into class the first day and told his students,

"We all know why we are here right? So we have something interesting to talk about in the unemployment line".
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“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”

--Oscar Wilde--
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Teacher: "If I say I AM BEAUTIFUL, which tense is that?"
Little Johnny: "Obviously past tense."
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A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."