Jokes

[hey,littlecobra]

My new car

I bought a new 2006 Cadillac and returned to the dealer the next day
complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman
explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said, "Nelson"!

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie", he continued, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. Then
he said, "Ray Charles", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced
Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days , every time I'd say,
"Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles,"
I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light, and nearly creamed my new car, but I
swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Ass Holes!" Immediately the French
National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda, and Barbara Streisand,
backed up by Michael Moore, and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar,
Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Barbara Pelosi on tamborine,
Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax, and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn I love this car.