Jokes

[DAVID GAGNARD]

The IRS decides to audit Boudreaux, and summons him to the IRS
office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Boudreaux shows up with
his attorney. The IRS had demanded $23,000 in taxes from Boudreaux due
to unreported income.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win
money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Boudreaux. "How
about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Boudreaux says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Boudreaux removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw
drops.
B oudreaux says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye."

The auditor can tell Boudreaux isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Boudreaux removes his dentures and bites his good eye..

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three
grand, with Boudreaux's attorney as a witness. He starts to get
nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Boudreaux asks. "I'll bet you six
thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee
into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere
in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt,
so he agrees again.

Boudreaux stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but
although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the
wastebasket on other side, so pretty much urinates all over the
desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a
major loss into a huge win. But Boudreaux's attorney moans and puts
his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the
attorney. "This morning, when Boudreaux told me he'd been summoned to
appear in person before the IRS, he bet me twenty-thousand dollars
that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd
be happy about it."