Jokes

[cobra de capell]

An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so you should have your husband check that, too."

"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."

True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on it immediately.

"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."
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Little Johnnie's teacher calls on him for a math quiz question.

Teacher: Johnnie, there are 5 birds on a telephone wire. A man shoots one off. How many are left?

Johnnie: OK a man shoots a gun. The gun is loud. So all the birds would fly away. I'd say there are no birds left!

Teacher: Johnnie, the correct answer is 4, but I like the way you're thinking!

Johnnie: Teacher now I've got a question for you. There are 3 woman sitting on a park bench all eating ice cream cones. One is licking at the tip, the other is licking around the bottom. And the third has the ice cream all the way in her mouth down to the cone. Now which woman is married?

Teacher: While blushing says - well I guess the one with the ice cream in her mouth to the cone!

Johnnie: No teacher the correct answer is the one wearing a wedding ring - but I like the way you're thinking!
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A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Cobra when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic................................

"Try doing it with the engine running."