The PUNishment of it All!
If pros and cons are opposite, is progress the opposite of congress?
I would never be caught dead with a necrophiliac!
Necrophiliacs put the fun back in FUNeral.
I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Diploma: Da' man who fixes da' pipes.
Someone's karma ran over my dogma.
If Satan lost his hair, there would be hell toupee!
Demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Be cowful what you utter about udders. You cud be overheard...This could go on and on, but why milk it?.
Someone stole the precinct toilet. The cops have nothing to go on.
Fangs for the Memories: Vampire the Musical
Confucius say: Baseball all wrong. Man with four balls, no walk.
Confucius say: Man who spends time at cathouse spends night in dog house.
Confucius say: Man who lay down with dogs, wakes up with fleas.
Confucius say: Virgin like balloon. One prick, and all gone.
Confucius say: Man who stand on toilet, high on pot.
Confucius say: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Confucius say: Man who lives in glass house, change clothes in basement.
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn
oil comes from corn, where does baby
oil come from?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Macho: Someone who jogs home from a vasectomy
Better: What we instantly feel when we realize our neighbor's problems are as bad as our own
Dysentery: What you get when dissent merges with commentary
Liberal: A church with four commandments and six suggestions
Resume: The closest any of us will ever come to perfection
Date: An organized meeting with someone who has yet to realize their intense dislike for you
Dilemma: Trying to believe someone you normally trust when you know you would lie if you were in their place
Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting
Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning 'I quit but you won't know it for sure for a year'
Irony: Buying a suit with two pairs of pants and then burning a hole in the coat
Insanity: Driving forty minutes to a health club, then waiting thirty minutes to get on a treadmill for twenty minutes
Progress: What you get when each mistake is a new one
Kids: People to be nice to since they are the ones who will choose your nursing home
Marriage: The process of finding out what type of person your spouse would prefer
329Likes
Threaded Mode
