Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Chester and Earl are going hunting.

Chester says to Earl, 'I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting.' So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice.

Chester says, 'Well I'm not going to go out. He saw only two ducks out there.'

Earl says, 'You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?' Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, 'I don't believe it! Where did you get that dog? There really were only two ducks out there!'

Chester says, 'Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too.'

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has.

The breeder obliges, and Earl brings the dog home, and tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in its mouth and starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, 'This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!'

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, 'Earl, he was trying to tell you that there are more f***in' ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!'
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Old Matt

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Matt the computer guy, to come over. Matt clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again?"

Matt grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down. I D 1 0 T

I used to like Matt .
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"Women don't want to hear what you think. They want to hear what they think, but in a deeper voice."

-Bill Cosby